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Nine Fairy Years

By Genevieve Burgess | DVD Releases | May 4, 2010 |

By Genevieve Burgess | DVD Releases | May 4, 2010 |

Leap Year: “People who subject themselves to romantic comedies (and I’d be one of them even if it weren’t my job) know to expect and accept a certain amount of formulism and a few standard contrivances when they step into the theater. But Leap Year is wholly unacceptable. It’s an appallingly bad movie, painfully dull and achingly false. There’s not a low enough expectation that you could set before viewing Leap Year that would allow you to avoid disappointment. If you go in expecting to have your bowels punctured with a rusty blade, you’ll still walk out wondering why they used a pitchfork.” - Dustin Rowles

Tooth Fairy: “It’s rather uncanny how two particular scenes within Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s latest family-friendly vehicle, The Tooth Fairy, mirror the descent of its leading man’s once-promising acting career. During the first-referenced scene, Johnson’s character, Derek Thompson, flushes himself down the toilet so that his hockey teammates don’t discover that he’s a fairy. Note my use of italics, which is fully intentional and references the movie’s unintentional connotation of fairies somehow being, well, kind of gay. Within the second-referenced scene, Derek, wearing a pink leotard and tutu, stalks through Tooth Fairyland with biceps bulging and glutei maximi flexing before angrily picking a fight with his wingless fairy case worker, Tracy (Stephen Merchant), who has “a real funny name” for a guy and a bad case of “wing envy.” Before long, the Fairy Godmother (Julie Andrews) breaks up the kertuffle, and then it hits me — holy crap — how, exactly, did these three actors end up in the same cesspool of cinematic sewage?” - Agent Bedhead

Nine: “Nine, director Rob Marshall’s adaptation of the Broadway musical of the same name, successfully continues the welcome modern revival of film musicals, skillfully mimicking the dreamy, stylized feel of films like Moulin Rouge and, not surprisingly, Chicago, which Marshall also directed. A bit overloaded with a revolving door of high-wattage stars, and a bit short on compelling plot points, Nine doesn’t quite cohere and take flight as those films did, though screenwriters Michael Tolkin and the late Anthony Minghella inject enough fresh ideas to keep things interesting. Several rousing musical numbers, yet another stunning performance from Daniel Day-Lewis, and strong contributions from Marion Cotillard and Penélope Cruz make for an enjoyable genre film sporting a wealth of smoky-cool flourishes.” ’ Ted Boynton

Also released this week: Art & Copy, Boogie Man: The Lee Atwater Story, Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy, Tetro

I Vant to Bite Your Neck | Pajiba After Dark 5/4/10

Genevieve Burgess is a Features Contributor for Pajiba. You can follow Genevieve Burgess on Twitter.