I have very strong feelings about Shia LaBeouf. Or I suppose, to be more accurate, I have no feelings about Shia LaBeouf because I do not spend time thinking about him regularly, and when he is brought up he is easily dismissed; but when I am forced to have feelings about Shia LaBeouf, they are very strong ones. I hate the way this person treats the career/art (pick whichever makes sense to you) of acting. I hate the way he
treats Marina Abramović rip-offs art installations. I hate the way he goes to the theatre. I more than anything hate the way he blamed his girlfriend for his own abusive behavior. But apparently there is a limit to the degree to which I think this guy is an asshole, because I would never lash out violently at him, even if I had the chance. And I would sure as hell never violently attack someone simply for looking like him. And I never realized that maybe not everyone had that some view of the Beef.
This weekend, an NYC man named Mario Licato, who bears a strong enough resemblance to have been mistaken for LaBeouf “at least 10 times in [his] life,” was knocked unconscious in the entrance to a subway station.
So a man who looks like Shia LaBeouf was attacked? Surely that must be a coincidence, and there was some other reason for the assault? Nope. According to Licato,
I didn’t even see the guy. I just see his fist coming towards me. It knocked me, and while I was falling down the stairs, all I hear was, “This is because you look exactly like Shia LaBeouf!”Nearby people asked if Licato knew the guy who attacked him. No, he didn’t. This person just fucking hates Shia LaBeouf, apparently. Hates him enough to lash out at innocent doppelgängers.
I was so confused. I was even more confused because I got up and was like, am I crazy, or did I hear him say, ‘This is because you look like Shia LaBeouf?’ And [the couple] were like, “Nope. That’s exactly what he said as he was running away from you.”
From the sound of it, even the EMTs who treated Licato were either super jaded New Yorkers, or (or possibly and) also didn’t give a crap about anyone who bore this strong a resemblance to LaBeouf.
They got out of the car and the first EMT guy, while I’m gushing blood from my face, with my broken glasses, just says, “Welcome to New York, buddy.”
My response was “Well, fuck you, I’m born and raised here.” I was like, “Are you kidding me? You’re standing in front of somebody who’s bleeding out of their face and that’s your first response?”
So are you wondering just how strong the resemblance is? The answer is: really damn strong.
I don’t want to LaBeouf-shame this guy, but oh wow. I’m really sorry you have to walk around being mistaken for someone who gets kicked out of theaters and makes all his costars uncomfortable.
That really sucks.