I don’t often talk about this, but you may have noticed my name is Kate Hudson. Yes, before you ask, I am that Kate Hudson, I am just not the Kate Hudson you’re thinking about. Or maybe I am, if I owe you money. In that case, I am definitely not the Kate Hudson you’re thinking of, and also, that was more of a gift than a loan, Lonny.
Here’s the thing about having a famous name—it never gets you a better reservation at a restaurant. Anyone who points out your own name to you thinks that they are always the first person to inform you about it. (Extra points if they lead with the very pointed question “Do you like movies?” Which yes, has happened to me multiple times. My usual answer is to shout “No!” dramatically and run away.) It also makes it almost impossible to Google yourself (that is probably more of a blessing than a curse, because that way people named Lonny, who you may or may not owe money to, can’t track you down via your latest arrest reported on the local news.)
The point is—sharing a name with a famous person can be irritating. Sometimes it’s funny, like the one time I woke up to the notification that the Chocolate Rain guy had followed me on Twitter, then immediately unfollowed me when he realized which Kate Hudson I was, or in this case, wasn’t. I also get occasional hate DMs directed at other Kate Hudsons, and when I run afoul of Katy Perry fans, they, in particular, like to point out that their Kate Hudson is much better (or classier) than I could ever hope to be.
I lay all this out for you now because I am in a unique position to share this next bit of news: Michelle Williams, the singer, is f*cking over you thinking that she’s Michelle Williams, the actor.
So, the folks who are pissed and pressed about Michelle Williams’s (Actress) moving and brilliant #Emmy speech are tagging and aiming their anger at Michelle Williams (Singer), and she is fed up! pic.twitter.com/d7NAQyBndm— shar jossell (@SharSaysSo) September 24, 2019
Yes, the former Destiny’s Child member wants all the knuckleheads out there bitching at her for the other Michelle’s Emmys speech to take a seat—because not only did she agree with it, she’s not the Michelle Williams you seek, OK!? I’ll let her explain via a Tweet that is a rip of her Instagram Live video because we’re in 2019, baby!
I get it. There is nothing more irritating to spend all day doing things that many people disagree with, only to have them bitch at you for something another person with your name did. Like, I specifically spent all morning singing Mariah Carey’s “Hero” as loudly and as poorly as I could outside of a coffee shop. That deserves some hate, and yet here some people are, s*itting on How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, again. It gets old, people.
So, I guess in the future, if you want to s*it on a random person you don’t know on the internet, stranger or not—just be sure you’re s*itting on the right person, because there’s nothing more irritating than to think that the sexually explicit poetry you write about hobbits is finally going to become controversial only to find out that someone is ticked off at Katy Perry for doing something dumb. I think I speak on behalf of all people who share names with famous people on that one.
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