Before we partake in the cathartic stew of Meghan McCain opening the first The View of the new year by being hilariously wrong about everything and getting effortlessly owned in pursuit of said wrongness, as always, I do want to take a minute to recognize the grave importance of what’s happening in Iran because it’s not a laughing matter — at all. We’re witnessing a very terrifying escalation of Donald Trump’s willingness to do whatever the hell he wants with zero resistance from anyone around him. In fact, it’s starting to look like he’s being encouraged, as this highly recommended thread from Reza Marashi suggests:
"They know the Iraqis are gonna kick them out now, so they're gonna try to kill as many as possible on their way out. Iranians, Iraqis, whoever. Some of them are advising Trump to tell the Iraqi government to fuck off and dare them to make us leave. I shit you not. Insanity."— Reza Marashi (@rezamarashi) January 6, 2020
Yeah, none of that is good. However, it’s not exactly shocking that an administration lorded over by the unfiltered id of the Republican Party mashed into a human yam suit is very keen to commit war crimes against brown people to the cheers of evangelicals. These actions are the GOP in its most concentrated form, and it is exactly why you should never sleep on this party. What do I mean by that? Here’s where I get myself in trouble.
In the lead-up to the 2016 election, prominent voices from the Extremely Online Left, along with a few morons in the mainstream media, actually portrayed Trump as the peaceful, non-interventionist candidate as opposed to Hillary the Warmonger despite the fact that Trump publicly promised to commit literal war crimes while on the campaign trail. He was saying it out loud! And yet even though Trump was clearly a reckless, impulsive egomaniac who would do anything to win the affection of a base that pops a patriotic boner at the mention of hardcore American troop action, Maureen Dowd wrote an op-ed for The New York Times titled, “Donald the Dove, Hillary the Hawk.” Even worse, two years into Trump’s administration, which by that point had already ordered more drone strikes than Obama’s entire presidency, Jeremy Scahill of The Intercept actually had the balls to say that “Donald Trump probably represents the best hope that we’ve had since 9/11 to actually end some of these forever wars.” How’s that working out?
I guess my point here is to be leery of a contrarian cottage industry that feels the massive collateral damage from a Republican administration is more acceptable than an imperfect Democratic Party that doesn’t run on promising to crush minorities with unbridled nationalism and religious fundamentalism. Also, maybe take a look at how things went down in England, and I’m gonna stop there.
ANYWAY, to the surprise of no one, the daughter of the guy who sang “Bomb Iran” while running for president is all about the assassination of Iranian general Qassim Suleimani because did you read all the stuff I just wrote about Republicans getting horny for murdering brown people? OK, good. Naturally, Meghan’s defense of a president she tries to pretend she hates was riddled with holes, and by the end of the segment, she was reduced to sniping at Whoopi like she brought her the wrong basket of riblets at Applebee’s. Which is telling because it was actually Sunny Hostin who dunked all over Meghan’s butt-stupid argument that any president would’ve made the call to take out Suleimani if they were in Trump’s rape-shoes. Except, nope, turns out even the dumbest of our dumb presidents wasn’t that dumb. Via Raw Story:
“We’ve heard that from Gen. (David) Petraeus, who served the previous two presidents, that there were opportunities for Presidents (George W.) Bush and (Barack) Obama to get Suleimani and they decided not to because they were worried about the repercussions,” Klein said. “You can’t go apples for apples, necessarily, but I think everybody in the foreign policy establishment knew that taking out someone who’s not just a terrorist, but also someone who’s a member of a government, a sitting position in a government, that’s a provocative action. It’s actually tantamount to war.”
Meghan also tried to take potshots at the Iran Nuclear Deal by conveniently leaving out the part where Trump has been deliberately cocking it up to spite Obama. But while that’s just the routine misfiring of Meghan’s mayo synapses, it is an excellent embodiment of the everyday conservative woman that she’s there to represent (on top of starting catfights for ratings). Namely by cheerleading the inevitable death of innocents because they worship the wrong god and therefore have it coming. I can’t put it more bluntly or grosser than that, which is why there should be no deliberation over which party is worse. The one that reluctantly wields the force of imperialism while admittedly dismantling it way too slowly, or the one that gleefully presses the accelerator at every opportunity, whether real or blatantly manufactured. Something to think about before we repeat 2016 all over again. (Am I going to be like this the whole election year? I don’t know!)
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