After starting the new season of The View by practically rolling around on the floor, kicking and screaming that she will NEVER live without guns even if a million babies get shot in the face, it’s safe to say that Meghan McCain has already peaked. Seriously, how do you top bursting into a gun control debate like a murderous Kool-Aid man filled with mayo? More importantly, why the hell is Meghan even allowed to try to top that performance considering Beto O’Rourke is exactly right that she’s essentially inciting violence? ABC should’ve yanked Meghan’s ass right off the panel and let Sunny Hostin prop her feet up in the massive void that’s left behind.
But we don’t live in a right and just world, so here’s everyone on The View acting like Meghan isn’t Cliven Bundy in drag while the panel discusses Scarlett Johansson defending Woody Allen, which is a spicy meatball, but it doesn’t have quite the same pizazz as “I WILL DO JELL-SHOTS OFF AN AR-15 UNTIL ONE US IS DEAD IN THE GROUND, YOU SOFT WHORES.”
For those of you who value their time and correctly didn’t watch that clip, remarkably, almost every single person on the panel thinks Woody Allen is innocent and that #MeToo is out of control, except for Sunny, who is the lone voice of reason. (The actual lawyer with experience in prosecuting child predators knows what the hell she’s talking about? Maybe make everyone else shut up.) When it gets to Meghan’s contractually mandated turn to speak last, she almost throws a shit-fit because she thinks she’s out of time until Whoopi tells her she’s fine. From there, Meghan spends the longest minute of my life saying… who the f*ck knows what?
Via Raw Story:
“I think what’s fascinating right now is Scarlett Johansson is a smart woman and she has had a lot of sort of media explosions for different things,” McCain said. “Being in a movie meant for an Asian character actress, and talking about playing a trans woman. She clearly doesn’t care about the cultural backlash because if she’s saying, ‘I’ll work with Woody Allen,’ it’s going to be a hot topic.”
Folks, that is literally the extent of Meghan’s contribution to the ScarJo issue. Word for word. I’m pretty sure she’s saying, “Yeah, Scarlett, f*ck the haters.” Even though, in this case, the “haters” are people who don’t want to support an alleged pedophile, but Meghan honestly doesn’t give a shit about any of that. Her real target is cancel culture, which is a bold move for someone who makes a daily, compelling case for said culture’s existence.
“What’s also interesting is Dave Chappelle has a new special out where he goes after everything having to do with cancel culture,” she said. “He said Louis C.K., his good friend, was killed in a ‘masturbation accident,’ and it’s sort of an irreverent take on everything that’s having to do with men being canceled, among other things, and another thing which has been trending on Twitter, and Rotten Tomatoes, which I always look at Rotten Tomatoes before I see anything, it has a 33 percent rating from critics and a 99 percent score from audiences, meaning that audiences are responding to what he’s saying.”
To be clear, this is Meghan leaning very hard into the right-wing culture wars by coming out hard for audience scores on Rotten Tomatoes versus the opinion of critics who are obviously effeminate, liberal “elitists,” which is a hilarious stance coming from a millionaire TV personality who can’t go two minutes without mentioning that her father was a United States senator. Meghan clearly has the pulse of “Real America” thanks to all the time she spends firing automatic weapons into its cricks and lakes.
Except, just kidding, that would require more effort than simply repeating things that Tiny Elf Hitler said on Twitter.
Dave Chapelle’s new special is a must-watch. It is riveting and hilarious. Now that I’ve said this, however, Chapelle is cancelled.— Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) August 30, 2019
After stanning for Chappelle, who should probably do some serious soul-searching now that his biggest fans are Patty Murderonaisse and Dwarvid Duke, Meghan harped about what she feels is a justified backlash to the #MeToo movement because never forget that conservatism runs on misogyny. Case in point, Abby Hunstman immediately backed her up. Remember during the Brett Kavanaugh hearing when Republican white ladies started freaking out on Facebook that their precious babies could be accused of rape by any harlot at any time and their lives will be ruined? That was Abby today, so maybe she deserved to have Meghan dunk on her newborn twins for being shit in a gunfight.
Thankfully, again, Sunny was the voice of reason. Now I almost feel bad about discouraging people from watching the clip, because Sunny was not having anyone’s shit and made herself heard. On that note, I didn’t get to hit a lighter note when The View returned on account of Meghan trying to launch the Jell-O Shot Rebellion, but check out the promo image below from Tuesday’s series premiere. Particularly Sunny’s clenched fists and the look on her face that, I’m not gonna lie, fueled me in the pettiest way possible. The healthy, smiling faces of my own children couldn’t bring me this much joy. (Don’t tell them I said that or they’ll ask for stuff.)
VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE: Jesus Christ, is this perfect.
← Hulu's 'This Way Up' Review: 'Fleabag' Meets 'You're the Worst' In the Best Way Possible | 5 Shows After Dark: 'Spin the Wheel' First Season Finale, 'Sunday Night Football' Premiere Packers v. Bears →
Header Image Source: The View/YouTube