You love Chris Pratt! Don’t try to deny it. It’s okay. Frankly, I’m glad you’re able to admit it now. All the “who’s the best Chris” stuff is wasted energy. You love Chris Pine’s down-to-earth vibe. Chris Hemsworth seems like a fun hang. We already know that Chris Elliot turns you on. Still, in your hearts, Chris Pratt lives above them all.
Rob McElhenney knows that! He sees your love of all things Pratt. That’s why he enlisted everyone’s preferred choice to play Indiana Jones to wish Ryan Reynolds a Happy Birthday! Mac posted a video on his socials where he talks to Pratt about Reynolds’ birthday. It’s a lot of fun. But you already knew that because you love Chris Pratt so goddamn much.
Are you sated?! Sure, he looks kinda tired, but he’s bringing that Pratt charm you can’t get enough of. He’s cracking jokes, having fun, and hanging out with someone you’ve probably watched for hours on end. You would kill to spend time with a member of the Always Sunny cast! Instead, you can live through your favorite celebrity, Chris Pratt, who has never done anything to upset you. Here he is again with Bradley Cooper! Another A-list actor who could not be more popular! Maybe then you will have had your fill!
Photo by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Disney
You’re still here?! What else do you want?! When will your love of all things “Chris Pratt” end? Will you never be satisfied? Must I remove every Chris, Christopher, and Topher from this planet until only Pratt remains?! Will your lust for Chris Supremacy end then?! Please! Release me from this prison that is your insatiable appetite for this star of Everwood! Release me!!