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Andrew Keegan's Cult Ended Maybe Not the Way You Expected, But Definitely the Way It Deserved

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | May 14, 2015 |

By Vivian Kane | Celebrity | May 14, 2015 |

Last summer I admittedly became mildly obsessed with the idea that Andrew Keegan, crowned prince of Tiger Beat, had formed his own cult nondenominational center for advanced spirituality for excessively pretty people. If you need a refresher (I’m sorry, do you NOT spend at least an hour a day reflecting on Andrew Keegan’s life choices? I envy you), the definitely-not-a-cult involves yoga, a giant parrot named Krishna, hallucinatory drugs, and vortexes created by supreme leader Keegan’s own energy. Their mission statement declares their dedication to “activating a next-level human experience.” It categorizes itself on Facebook as an Alternative & Holistic Health center/Performance Art Venue because those SNL “Californians” are based in absolute insufferable reality.

“Full Circle” (pause for cleaning the vomit out of your throat) has been holding services in Venice for the last almost-year. But their next-level activation has been cut short, thanks to some undercover government agents and a nearly nonexistent amount of alcohol.

During a fundraiser for a marine conservation nonprofit called the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, undercover ABC agents confiscated “several containers” of kombucha, a bubbly fermented tea made from a gross mushroom that is known to contain a very small percentage of alcohol, and cited the spiritual group for selling booze without a license.
I feel like we need to pause for a second to get a mental image of how deep undercover an ABC agent has to get to infiltrate a 90s child star’s “open source spiritual community center.” I can’t be positive, but I think I have a pretty good idea of where they might find their source material for that. hasselhoff-coachella.jpg Kombucha normally has about .5% alcohol, but Full Circle rocks their next-level cosciousness so hard, they go for the strong stuff. Their supplier for this event, Kombucha Dog, is known to not dilute their product in brewing, so their stuff can reach about 1%. As hard-core as that sounds, it apparently wasn’t enough to make Keegan think they needed an alcohol permit. So while we may not have seen Joey Donner’s demise coming from some overpriced, illicit sour bacteria juice, upon retrospect, it could not be more fitting.

Oh, don’t worry about Keegan, though. He’s keeping his beautiful head held high.

They may be a complaint-driven agency, but we’re an intention-driven organization and our intentions are pure.

Via LA Curbed.