You Have Two Choices: Scoff at Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Or Embrace the Ever Living Sh*t Out of It
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You Have Two Choices: Scoff at Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, Or Embrace the Ever Living Sh*t Out of It

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | June 14, 2012 | Comments ()


Me? I'm going to embrace the ever-living sh*t out of it, because when Honest Abe wields an axe and chops down a motherf*cking vampire zombie, I'm going to pay attention and I don't care how dumb the idea is.

Here's the first full-length clip from the movie. It looks bat-smacking stupid, and I cannot wait.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • Inquisitive Mind

    Still a better love story than Twilight

  • logan

    i have always loved Honest Abe and Vampires so this is like asking me if I'd like to give Christina Hendricks a ride home since she's so drunk and lonely.

  • fuck this

  • splinter

    i will skip this. any mention of abe's constant male companion in the book? it being historical and all. jw

  • I get it: if its based on an obviously ridiculous premise we accept it, ignore it, and enjoy it. If its based on Alien canon we don't. We pick over it with a fine tooth comb and insist it makes no sense. On any level.

    Tell me again, what was that black goo all about?

  • Alarmjaguar

    Embrace, embrace, embrace!

  • I have to root for Benjamin Walker. The guy is a fantastic performer. I didn't care for Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson but I thought he was sensational onstage. Hopefully this strange vampire movie can open up doors for him.

  • wsapnin

    I read the book and quite enjoyed it. Looking forward to the movie but not with high expectations. What I'm really looking forward to is a big gulp diet coke and a bucket of popcorn with yellow motor oil on it while losing some brain cells through my eyeballs for two hours.

  • annie

    Embrace. Because it's STILL better than Transformers.

  • Karl Kaefer

    I am so there!!! For God's sake, it's the same director who gave us Night/Day Watch!

  • ellcoolj

    I have the book on order and am all in for the film... when's it out?

  • blackmarket

    I am all over this. Hell yes

  • Meh

    I'll pass, but mainly because I'm staging an all-out boycott of any more literary/historical figures turned into violent action hero badasses. Seriously, what's next?
    Buddha: The Reckoning
    Voltaire, Werewolf Master

  • PDamian

    I would watch the shit out of Voltaire, Werewolf Master. Someone needs to get on this, post-haste.

  • What about "Martin Van Buren: Getaway Driver"?

  • blorft

    Should have just made it a video game and called it a day.

    I had no idea Anthony Mackie is in this: I'm sold!

  • BobbFrapples

    Double feature with Brave, yes indeedy.

  • Embrace. He's swinging that axe like Christian Bale gunslinging in Equilibrium. Magic axe that kills vampires? Gimme somma dat.

  • Fredo

    I read the book and was surprised it wasn't tongue in cheek.

    That said, I am an embracing fool. I must see this. It may be awesome. It may be awful. But all the vampires on Earth couldn't keep me away.

    ...oh wait. Brave comes out the same day?

    OH what the hell?! Double feature!!!!

  • Oh, I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels like this, because when I saw the trailer before The Avengers, I thought, "YES." It looks dumb as hell but also fun as hell and quite frankly, when he twirls the axe I just want to whoop and enjoy the ride.

    I'm just hoping it's more fun than Van Helsing, which also had the potential to be dumb fun but was just dumb.

  • I can't hate Van Helsing as much as some, because I thought Kate Beckensale looked better in that than she did in most of the Underworld movies.

  • It can't be worse than 'Priest'. Sign me up, Mr. Lincoln!

  • Ender

    It depends if they can pull off the tongue in cheek.

  • Lindzgrl

    The book isn't tongue in cheek at all. It's basically a true biography of Abe Lincoln, with tales of his battles against vampires interwoven. It was an odd book, but I think it worked—it focused more on the fact that Abe was an amazing person and a hero to many (whether he killed vampires or not). And the vampires are, of course, also an allegory for racism and slavery in the books. If the movie can pull that off, I think it can work.

  • ,

    The ol' railsplitter, indeedy.

  • I choose to Embrace. My husband is scoffing at it.

  • Jen Papin

    The book was great fun, so looking forward to the movie. All in.

  • TheOtherGreg

    scoff, I'm afraid.

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