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Where Are They Now? Power Ranking The Cast Of The Ultimate 90s Movie

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | August 7, 2012 | Comments ()


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Despite the fact that it's been 14 years since Can't Hardly Wait came out, the movie remains the most poignant story of a foolhardy, rebound relationship an almost perfect time capsule for those of us who were teenagers in the mid-late 90s. In fact, I'd argue, there's something so truly and quintessentially "high school" about that movie that it doesn't matter when you were a teenager, this movie will hit home. It's a silly, fluffy bit of candy floss. But it's one of the most irresistible, quotable, rewatchable movies of the modern era. And if you haven't seen it in awhile, one of Can't Hardly Wait's purest joys is reminding you just how many familiar people were at that party. Here they be, power ranked according to a scientific and not at all whimsical criteria, the cast of Can't Hardly Wait.

19. Jay Paulson: X-Phile #2: This kid shouldn't rank at all. But a role on "Mad Men" means he got to hang out on the "Mad Men" set which means he was within spitting distance of Christina Hendricks and Jon Hamm. So, infinitesimal points for that, Adam Whitman.
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18. Melissa Joan Hart: Yearbook Girl: I'd rank you higher, Sabrina, but the whole modern day "Who's The Boss?" thing you've got going with Joey Lawrence makes me terribly sad. How did you get here, Clarissa? Explain that.
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17. Eric Balfour: Hippie Guy: Along with Jeremy Sisto, Eric Balfour is one of the creepiest things to come out of the 90s. I don't care how many muscles you grow, Balfour, you still have that sad, sad moustache.
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16. Jaime Pressly: Girlfriend #1: If this list had come out several years ago when Pressly was at the top of her game on "My Name Is Earl," garnering Emmy nods left and right, her ranking would have been a lot higher. But then she made "I Hate My Teenage Daughter" and I may never forgive her.
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14. Selma Blair: Girl Mike Hits On #1: If you're wondering why the co-star of Hellboy is ranked so low, you need only look to her left. It doesn't get much lower than that.
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13. Sara Rue: Earth Girl: Old Sheep Girl is looking pretty fetch these days.
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12. Ethan Embry: Preston Myers: As much as it pains me to report this, Ethan Embry recently played "Frick" to Sean Astin's "Frack" in some sort of Wizard of Oz project. What would Vonnegut say?
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11. Amber Benson: Stoned Girl: Though she might have been one of the weaker members of the "Buffy" cast (hair tuck...doe eyes...stammer), Amber Benson is officially part of the Whedon crew and that makes her forever one of the cool kids around here. She's also a pretty popular author. So well done, Stoned Girl.
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10. Breckin Meyer: Lead Singer: Meyer has a LOT of goodwill stored up as the peanut butter to Seth Green's jelly and the co-creator of "Robot Chicken." But Franklin and Bash cannot be ignored. No matter how hard you may try.
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8. Jenna Elfman: The Angel: Jenna Elfman, on the other hand, recently held her own against Glen Close on "Damages." (Yes that show's still on.) Impressive.
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7. Lauren Ambrose: Denise Fleming: They say looking good is the best revenge. Yes? After killing it for four seasons on "Six Feet Under," Ambrose has emerged as one of the more respected actors on the list and a solitary bright spot in that terrible last season of "Torchwood." Between you and me, I'm pretty sure those shoes she's wearing don't serve an orthopedic function.
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6. Jerry O'Connell: Trip McNeely: He's got an adorable family with much beloved supermodel and landed the lead on the increasingly cool-looking "Munsters" remake. Everything's coming up Trip.
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5. Peter Facinelli: Mike Dexter: Being a member of the Twilight franchise SHOULD be marks against Facinelli. But I'm pretty sure it's afforded him a Scrooge McDuck style vault o' gold. So you enjoy your riches. May they fill the Kelly Taylor-sized hole in your heart.
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4. Donald Faison: The Drummer: He may not be as high profile as he was in his "Scrubs" days, but Faison will always rank high on any Pajiba list. If only because of this.
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3. Jennifer Love Hewitt: Amanda Beckett: Listen, I'm no huge fan of J. Lo. Hew. But the girl has been through humiliating scandal after humiliating scandal and she's still here. So give it up for the cockroach of the Entertainment world. She's got awfully pretty hair.
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2. Seth Green: Kenny Fisher: This is Seth Green's wife. Seth Green is winning.
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1. Jason Segel: Watermelon Guy: And then there's our Marshall. Beloved sitcom star, Oscar nominee and banger of Michelle Williams. Congratulations, Watermelon Guy, you're our winner.
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Honorable Mention:

Charlie Korsmo: William Lichter: Can't Hardly Wait is the last thing on Korsmo's IMDB. Which means he went out on top. Well played, Lichter.
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...play us out, Smashmouth.







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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • SarahK

    So many good memories. Thank you for that.

  • ...the movie remains the most poignant story of a foolhardy, rebound relationship an almost perfect time capsule for those of us who were teenagers in the mid-late 90s.

    Even with your crossout, I see you trying to bring down the true love of Preston and Amanda. THEY WERE STAR-CROSSED LOVES WHO OVERCAME BITTER ANGELS, MANILOW CONFUSION, DROPPED POP TARTS, LETTERS THAT APPEARED MAGICALLY IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME, AND MIKE DEXTER! SPEAK NOT ILL OF PRESTANDA!

  • Even Stevens

    I re-watch this movie on a regular basis, it has so many good things... "What if the stars are God's salt, and he's just waiting to eat us?!"

    I also think there should be an honorable mention for the totally 90s Clea Duvall... she was in all the things, then just disappeared.

  • Bill O'Reilly

    What does that mean "to play us out??" To end the show??

  • Daffodil

    I feel very little critical thinking went into this list.

  • JoannaRobinson

    What tipped you off? Was it the part where it's called "a seriously random list?"

  • Godotzilla

    Breckin Meyer did not co-create "Robot Chicken" with Gree, Matt Seinrich did. Meyer is part of their regular stable of voice actors.

  • JoannaRobinson

    Hunh. Absolutely right. Though, give him his due, he does have a long-standing writing credit on the show. Or do they give that to all their voice actors to credit them for their improv work?

  • ShagEaredVillain

    You mean PROFESSOR CHARLES KORSMO?
    http://law.case.edu/Home/News/...
    And people say Cleveland isn't awesome.

  • Jenne Frisby

    I have never seen this movie. I developed some sort of mental block about it, which is strange because of how much I love Seth Green. This cast list is almost enough to make me reconsider, though.

  • LEonaRd

    Six Feet Under was on for 5 seasons, not 4! That's all I have to say.

  • BierceAmbrose

    J-love has hair? Who knew.

    On to picking bones ...

    I believe you have under-rated Jamie Pressly's body of work, so to speak. While I generally have a thing for exotic-ish brunettes - explain that, growing up in Pennsyltucky - Jamie is an exception. DUIs while cracking country-trash & her real live mother is "Brenda Sue." She's like coming home. To a rusty trailer, but still ...

    Jenna Elfman, however, gets -1,000,000,000th place for being an absolutely batshit crazy, mind controlled Scientology storm trooper.

  • firekissed

    My favorite character name from this movie (and any movie at all)..."Girl who's party it is"

  • Birdie

    Jason Segel is not an Oscar nominee

  • SuzieQSuzieQ

    I believe he and a co-writer were nominated for best song from 'The Muppets.'

  • JoannaRobinson

    No. Birdie's right. I somehow confused a giant, sandy-headed comedian with a tiny, bearded Conchord.

  • e jerry powell

    Re: Balfour
    True, but he does have a great ass.

  • Jenne Frisby

    Also, he's kind of great on Haven. Which should be starting soon.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Loooove that show and those two horse face men on it are great.

  • Milly

    Being English might be a reason, but as a kid of the 90's - I'm 32 now - I've never heard of this film. 'Empire Records' & 'Clueless' were the bigger American teen films over here from my memory.

    And 'Hackers', but that's probably because of the left overs of acid house and morphing into big beat, trance, hardhouse, happy hardcore etc.

  • Anne Lucchesi

    Those would have been my top two picks as well. Also, Clueless had the Mighty Mighty Boss Tones and they totally trump Smashmouth.

  • LoudVal

    Double agreed. I'm 30, and I remember not caring about this movie at all when it came out (I'd argue that was cos we were cool and re-educating ourselves on Eddie Murphy's Delirious and Raw, and since at that point I was this close to graduating, but I was also raving a lot, so my priorities were elsewhere).

    The only draw for me was Ethan Embry, who was a holdover from Empire Records and Vegas Vacation.

    And Hackers is a superior movie, by far. Soundtrack, young AJ and JLM. I'm sold.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Ah, Hackers. Another movie full of people you forget were in it. Matthew Lillard being as annoying as possible. Lorraine Bracco in between Mafia projects. Fisher Stevens aka: that weasely dude that somehow managed to bang Michelle Pfeiffer (and the skateboard? Seriously?). Marc Anthony, ex-Mr. J-Lo in the only movie I've ever seen him in. Felicity Huffman before anyone knew who she was. Jesse Bradford, the dude from Bring It On. And Penn Jillette, perfectly cast as the incompetent security director for the magic "Gibson" supercomputer.

    Hilariously outdated computer lingo! Super-cool CGI visual navigation of the Gibson! Underground hacker-themed amusement parks housing video games, half-pipes and TV studios! Public threats via talking Vitruvian Man! Johnny Lee Miller in a cyber-dress! Rollerblading everywhere! "It's in that place where I put that thing that time"! Crash and Burn!

    And I suppose that concludes episode 2 of "90's Movies Bert knows way too much about".

  • That picture of Lauren Ambrose has some really weird Photoshop shit going on.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    Doesn't matter. That's one woman who can't be destroyed by being 'shopped.

  • Pinky McLadybits

    It's been long enough that now would probably be the perfect time for a re-watch. Now to practice humping ladies with one leg up on the bathroom sink and one on the bath tub. AWWW YEAH!

  • mswas

    Donald Faison: he's so damn talented.

  • Teabelly

    I need to watch this again.

    Also, who rememers when Ethan Embry was Ethan Randall? I was so confused by that...probably 20 years ago.

  • A. Smith

    I was thinking Dutch.

  • Siege

    I found Eric Balfour completely creepy until I saw him on 'Haven' (a great show everyone should be watching imo) ... now he's creepy sexy.

  • Bodhi

    He was awfully pretty in 6 Feet Under. Or maybe its just me...

  • Maguita NYC

    He was also in that iffy movie Lie With Me. Sexy creepy too. Hot sexy creepy.

  • Kala

    Thought he was kind of sexy-douchey (i.e. a chick gets drunk enough to get charmed into bed, only to get ragingly pissed about the nasty bout of the clap that he's gifted her with) for a few minutes in the late nineties, then I watched him in that that godforsaken Skyline movie where he obliterated giant vagina monsters using only his fists and now please excuse me while I go drink the memory away.

  • Maguita NYC

    Giant vagina monsters?
    Using only his fists?
    Excuse me while I go drink the image away.

  • Sofia

    Oh, ETHAN EMBRY. I had the biggest crush on him after watching Empire Records and then this movie. Dude indeed.

  • Benderman

    I didn't know half of these people were in the movie. Will re-watch.

  • Chucklehouse

    Nicely done, and lots of fun! The Charlie Korsmo reference took me back to this article on him (and some other familiar faces) from last month:
    http://movies.yahoo.com/blogs/...

  • jmd

    Stop trying to make fetch happen!

  • Jezzer

    Stop trying to make kvetch happen. >:(

  • laylaness

    That Lauren Ambrose pic might make me rethink my Cate Blanchett Forever stance on my Pajiba 10 Women list next year.

    None of these guys make me rethink my stance on my Pajiba 10 Dudes list.

  • Maguita NYC

    I always feel like crying whenever I see a pic of Lauren Ambrose, because of Six Feet Under's final 6 heavenly minutes.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Oh my god, Keith's moment KILLS ME EVERY TIME. Ugly cry.

  • RilesSD

    Sisto is creepy?

  • He also smells IRL. And seems to enjoy hanging out in book stores, while looking disheveled, as I have seen him twice at two different Barnes & Nobles. He looked somewhat homeless both times.

  • Bodhi

    Creep hot!

  • DeistBrawler

    HHHHHEEEEELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo, Lauren Ambrose.

  • Snath

    NO, SMASHMOUTH. Do NOT play us out.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Should we get Barry Manilow instead?

  • Snath

    Also NO.

  • Rocabarra

    I feel this SNL scene to be appropriate here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Snath

    I remember watching that episode. That kind of makes me sad.

  • BarbadoSlim

    "fetch" is never gonna happen so just stop it.

  • Nadine

    Korsmo was like, recruited by MIT or something, he's some kind of super genius and I wouldn't be surprised if that skinny little frame of his was stuffed inside the rover.

  • Niki

    He's a professor of Law at Case Western Reserve University in Cleveland as of my last alumni letter FWIW

  • Scal

    According his wikipedia page, he has a physics degree from IT and has a Yale law degree.
    He also works for Obama now in as a member of the Barry Goldwater Scholarship and Excellence Foundation.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/C...

  • kimk

    I can't hear a certain piece of "Paradise City" without picturing him falling down and then jumping up on a table.

    My love for this movie has no bounds.

  • Quorren

    Last I heard, he was helping Republicans in Congress.

    Also, Ted Mosby was an extra in this movie.

    Also, I know WAY too much about this movie.

  • LB

    It's okay; I knew that, too. The only thing stopping me from sharif was yours. Also, this movie is why Peter Facinelli has defied all odds and is the thing I find most disturbing about the Twilight franchise.

  • Quorren

    Also also also, if someone would photoshop my head onto Seth Green's wife, I'd be so grateful.

  • Uriah_Creep

    Also also also, if someone would photoshop my head onto Seth Green, I'd be so grateful. Thanx.

  • emmelemm

    Get in line.

  • damnitjanet

    Ethan Embry...Chad fell down.

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