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Six Game of Thrones Spinoff Shows That Should Be Put Into Production Right Now

By Cindy Davis | Seriously Random Lists | June 17, 2013 | Comments ()


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Now that “Game of Thrones” Season 3 has come to an end, what are we to do to wile away our time? How do we get through the long summers without our favorite characters? When shall we drink our leftover Game of Thrones beer? I’ll tell you when: while we’re sitting back in our air-jet cooled La-Z-Boy recliners (do they make those?), watching these six groovy spinoff shows.


1. “Get Seaworthy”

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Join Westeros’ most promising lads on the adventure of a lifetime as they learn to navigate from bow to stern and bay to sea. Ser Davos Seaworth, Hand of the King and Admiral of the Narrow Sea teaches twelve strapping clueless young men how to tell their fore from aft and each week, tests their knowledge through practical exercises. In the end, only one candidate will remain, and deemed “Seaworthy.”

2. “Kitchen Nightmares with Ramsay Snow”

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The Bastard of Bolton terrorizes cooks at the Dreadfort. Two teams, headed up by the finest (kidnapped) chefs battle it out to please Ramsay’s palate, even as Lord Snow taunts and torments them. Each week, the losing team suffers a flaying—or perhaps, the dreaded appendage removal. Who will be the last cook standing (and on how many toes?) in Ramsay’s Kitchen? Rated TV-MA: Language and Violence.

3. “The Amazing Race: Lannister vs. Stark”

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This Very Special edition of “The Amazing Race” pits two teams—representing two of the world’s most powerful families—against each other, as they travel the continent and eliminate their enemies. Team Lannister: Jaime “The Kingslayer” Lannister and The Maid of Tarth herself, Brienne, take on Team Stark: Arya of Winterfell and Sandor “The Hound” Clegane. Twelve episodes follow the teams racing across kingdoms, facing new challenges and taking out those who have wronged them, or who stand in their way. Valar Morghulis.

4. “Varys!”

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Lord Varys finally gives up his whispers for real talk; he’ll speak with your favorite Westerosi lords and ladies, queens and princesses—and they’ll tell all. Don’t worry, no secret is safe with him! Join Varys beginning July 1, when he speaks with his very first guest, the Queen of Thorns herself, Lady Olenna (Redwyne) Tyrell:

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Lady Tyrell discusses why she encouraged her granddaughter’s upcoming wedding and just how she earned that prickly nickname. Don’t miss this exciting first episode of “Varys!” available only on the VRYS network.

5. “Meet the Small Council”

Join us every Sunday morning for this popular roundtable discussion covering the Seven Kingdom’s movers and shakers. Hand of the King? There’s no pushing around Tywin Lannister; he’s not afraid to have Maester Pycelle whip up his own special political brew. And what happens while the Lord Commander of the Kinsguard is away, stays that way. Pull up a chair and watch what happens, live.

6. ” Littlefinger…Big Heart”

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The former Master of Coin spreads his wealth of knowledge and political maneuvering. They say he’s only out for himself, but Petyr Baelish proves he has heart—and a big one, at that. This new series from the producers of “The Baelorette” and “Get Seaworthy” secretly captures Littlefinger performing good deeds (filmed by a hidden camera). Get real reactions from real people like Sansa Stark…and others. “Littlefinger…Big Heart” airs Fridays this summer.

*A special thanks to Jay for his mad photoshop skilz (header image).

Cindy Davis, (Twitter) sometimes wonders about the size of Littlefinger’s other parts.



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Comments Are Welcome, Douches Are Not


  • earonesty

    Watch Legend of the Seeker, not as much T&A, but still fun. It's got swords, sex, torture, and wizards that shoot fireballs.

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt08...

  • Sam

    Can we get a Real Housewives of Westeros with Cersei just drinking wine, getting fitted for robes and throwing shade at any person who doesn't bow before her regal magnificence?

  • Maddy

    Maester Aerobics with Pycelle

  • Derreck

    Varys! could totally be the Maury of the Westeros world. He doesn't even need a lie detector test. You lie and one of his many sources will come out from the back and lay ALL your shit out in the open.

    plus, there's "Tywin, Fix My Life" where he just comes over, looks at your life, looks at your choices and you do what he tells you to do. You don't agree? He gives you his patented "bitch, don't even" look and that's the end of the discussion.

    The Bachelor with Robb Stark will have the most dramatic rose ceremony EVER but Undercover King with Joffrey will be the highest rated show. An execution at the end of every episode!

  • So You Think You Can Water Dance?

    It's basically just Arya yeling and making little girls cry because they can't catch cats or stand on one foot for hours.

    OK I'll stop now.

  • Welcome back, Cotter Pyke!

  • Gaius

    Hee hee hee...

  • Maddy

    What about 'Shireen Baratheon's Center For Onion Knights Who Can't Read Good'? Only adorable stupidly loyal onion knights can apply

  • Milly

    Confession: I have not been able to pluck up the will to watch the last two episodes. This is not for any quality purposes, but for knowing what they show.

    I stopped reading the books for a month after the red wedding and need to be in some deliriously happy state to watch it unfold so that when it ends I'm just angry rather than anything else.

    Melodramatic? Maybe. But I know it's going to be a difficult couple of hours.

  • damnitjanet

    /snorfle/ I'd watch ALL OF THESE!!

  • Oh, I wonder what it says about many Pajibans that we (look at me being inclusive) frequently snort/snarf a carbonated beverage on our keyboards? One might draw the wrong conclusions about who we are, what we are doing, etc. I'd hate to think people think this is aintitcool.com

  • BWeaves

    Personally, I snorted green tea all over my keyboard.

  • Bert_McGurt

    These are so fantastic I can't resist trying to come up with more:

    This Old Keep
    The Iron Price is Right
    Keeping Up With the Baratheons
    and of course, Dancing with the Dragons.

    And I can't wait for the paternity testing episode of Varys!

  • *falls over at "The Iron Price is Right"*

  • This Old Keep may have killed me dead.

    Norm Abrams telling you how to install secret passages in the keep designed to prevent your beautiful sisters from tempting you into *ahem* behavior. Betting ten gold dragons there is a water heated floor involved...

  • How about "The Freys in Kings Landing", modeled after "The Beverly Hillbillies", as we watch the inbred rubes outclass the classy again and again, at least until the Lannisters are gone too.

  • pastor_of_muppets

    What about "Sex Talk: with Tyrion the Imp & Podrick the Pimp" Learn how to become a master cock-smith from the throne room to the bedroom, whether you be short of stature or timid of voice, you will learn how to make any woman swoon in delight. Even if you have to pay for it.

  • PerpetualIntern

    “Kitchen Nightmares with Ramsay Snow” just made me snarf Diet Coke onto my keyboard. Well played.

  • MrsAtaxxia

    I wish all of these were real.

  • DarthCorleone

    Instead of a pet whispering show, Bran can help people out with his warging talents. People watch for the amazing animal insights but stay because of that lovable assistant Hodor.

  • I would rather watch that than the dude with the weird mustache on Animal Planet...

    I'm picturing "That's Our Hodor!"

  • lowercase_ryan

    This is flippin brilliant Cindy.

    And now I'm even more depressed that the season is over.

  • DarthCorleone

    A Tywin Lannister and Walder Frey wedding planning series could work.

  • BWeaves

    Four Weddings and a Funeral. (Too soon?)

  • BiblioGlow

    I think you need to reverse your numbers, there. And then maybe multiply.

  • BWeaves

    Say Yes To Depress

  • luthien26

    How about "Bastard Bachelors?" Follow Jon Snow, Gendry Waters, and Ramsay Snow around Westeros as they look for love in all the wrong places, with hilarious results! Laugh along as Jon and Gendry get into love trouble with fiery redheads! Watch Ramsay's many funny and failed attempts before he gets female recruits to join him for amusing torture games at the Dreadfort! It'll be a blast!

  • ed newman

    AKA "Love, Westeros Style"

  • Cindy, you rock.

  • "Is Robert Baratheon Your Daddy?"

    Mothers from all over Westeros bring up their black-headed children to find out if they'll receive child-support money from Robert's estate. Stannis will stand in for Robert and get super angry whenever the tests turn positive, and maybe then he'll give them over to Melisandre.

    It won't last more than a couple of episodes.

  • luthien26

    I love you. So much. :) I would watch the HELL out of "Get Seaworthy" and "Varys!"

  • Heee!

    But we could also turn "Littlefinger...Big Heart" into a dating show. Only red-headed Mother-Daughter teams may apply.

    I may have grossed myself out.

  • It makes me sad that I can only upvote this once.

  • Sherry

    Thank you for the excuse to re-watch that Small Council scene. Still superbly done!

  • Damn you, Cindy Davis! Do you think I really wanted to snort orange crush all over my keyboard???

    Seriously, though, this was hysterical. Well played!

  • PerpetualIntern

    She got me too!

  • Natallica

    Oh, and don't forget to check the amazing romantic advice column on "Varys!". The last time I saw, he told a slut shamed girl to leave his loving but complicated boyfriend and find a new life as a rich and mysterious bachelorette

  • Grimm

    Slut-shamed? That's what you took out of that scene?

  • Natallica

    Ummm, I don't think we are ACTUALLY discussing episodes in a oh-so-serious way here.

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