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Tokyo Olympics village Getty.jpg

Your Cardboard Beds Will Not Stop Olympians From Some High-Intensity Boning, Tokyo!

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Social Media | July 19, 2021 |

By Kayleigh Donaldson | Social Media | July 19, 2021 |

Tokyo Olympics village Getty.jpg

The 2020 Tokyo Olympics are about to kick off a mere year late, with athletes now setting up camp in the Olympic Village and concerns over that whole continuing pandemic thing being put aside. Sort of. The Olympics are supposed to bring us together, although it’s debatable whether a notoriously corrupt organization’s wheelings and dealings that leave behind infamous devastation and infrastructure chaos for the host cities really gets the job done. Many Tokyo residents protested the event coming to their city, particularly with concerns over COVID rising.

Things aren’t great, so of course we all latched onto this ridiculous story for a few laughs. Images of the Olympic Village went viral after it was revealed that the athletes would be sleeping on beds made from recycled cardboard. A claim then started circulating that the beds were designed to collapse if more than one person sat on them, and that this was a way to discourage rampant f**king. Athletes have been told that they should not be mixing with other nations at the Olympic Village and that COVID-19 protocols have to be observed all the time, so no hanky panky, guys.

Irish gymnast Rhys McClenaghan took to Twitter to debunk this latest round of fake news by bouncing around excitedly on the bed. He’s getting a lot of action out of it. Well done, son.

Admit it, you’re kind of sad this story isn’t true. The idea that some cardboard would stop a bunch of people at the height of their physical abilities from getting down and dirty was just too fun. What, you think they wouldn’t at least give it a go, or, you know, do it on the floor? There are gymnasts there with the flexibility of elastic bands. Don’t tell me they couldn’t at least get to third base while balancing on one of those beds. I never before thought of the Olympics as a mega-f**k orgy, but I do now!

It’s worth noting, via Sky News, that condoms have been given to Olympic athletes since the 1988 Seoul Olympics, a move designed to encourage safe sex and raise awareness of the ongoing AIDS epidemic. However, Tokyo 2020 is not following suit because of the pandemic. It’s kind of sweet that they think everything’s going to be on the up and up this Summer.

Three athletes in the Olympic Village have already tested positive for COVID-19 and are now isolating while authorities establish their close contacts and who may need further testing. No news on whether they got to f**k on the cardboard beds first.

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Kayleigh is a features writer and editor for Pajiba. You can follow her on Twitter or listen to her podcast, The Hollywood Read.

Header Image Source: Carl Court via Getty Images