Web Analytics
GOP Platform Aimed at Millennials and Zoomers Brings Together Top Quality Snark
Pajiba Logo
Old School. Biblically Independent.

GOP Streamer Aimed at Zoomers Brings Forth Prime Comedy Material

By Alberto Cox Délano | Social Media | September 23, 2021

yuck.jpeg
Header Image Source: Getty Images

Let's dive straight in: There is this new... platform? network? streaming site? that is aimed at far-right Zoomers. Or wants to promote GOP values to Zoomers by jumping on whichever new computery fad kids are into now. It's called Today In America ... I'm sorry, Today Is America, because nothing says I love the USA like confusing Subject-Verb-Object arrangements. Apparently, all these people originate organically from conservative Tik-Tok or something, and are in no way being funded by the Koch family nor are they a seeder from which they will find replacements for Tammy Lasaña types, once they turn 35. So what you have here is a collection of acceptable-looking under-25s, with the fashion sense of someone that picked a Town & Country magazine from the late 80s and said: "Yes, that's class." Also, so much spray-on tanner that it might be a Freudian slip about cultural appropriation.

But the thing is, that's not what I am here for. After Will Sommer at The Daily Beast published some screenshots from their upcoming shows, the good side of Twitter came out in force with some A+++ snark material. They only needed four or eight screenshots to come up with a barrage of chef-kisses putdowns and I'm just going to embed them here for your enjoyment:

It's not a good sign when your content for Zoomers reminds people of Millennial classics such as Dick in a Box and LMFAO:

For the show called "Firefight", they clearly went for somebody that would appeal to Middle Four-Generations-In-The-KKK America, but also, his name might've overshot the mark:

I agree, his name is too hard to pronounce, ironically, for most white Americans:

But for that same amount of money you can get an even blood-purer BMW!

Colbert would be proud of this one:

There's a lot of sexual confusion here indeed:

One of these shows is hosted by a guy called Joe (who looks like a dehydrated Stephen Miller) and it apparently goes in the morning. Try and guess what they called it:

It gets better:

But that means they would have to pay attention during English!

These two came in with the precision-targeted burns:

The following are "suggestions" for other shows (and hosts) for this thing. Among them there is a real one, try finding which one is it without clicking on the links:

There is still a good chance that all of this is an ellaborate prank. They do look like one of those fake shows from Dear White People or:

Obvious question: Where do they find these people?, well:

It's working tho:

There is one iconic Millennial GOPer missing though:

But for real, if you wanna know where these people come from, please do read these threads: