Here we have Bryan Cranston, who plays a high-school chemistry teacher and the meth manufacturing mastermind in AMC’s “Breaking Bad.” Is that the sort of person with whom you can trust your hemorrhoids flare-ups?

Ken Jeong, meanwhile, is an actual doctor, but plays a doofus on TV. Would you trust the guy who jumped out of a trunk naked in The Hangover with your upset stomach and diarrhea?

Finally, we have Bradley Cooper, who played, er, a chef in “Kitchen Confidential.” Here he is pitching for NZT, a new pharmaceutical that will allow you to unlock your true potential. With it, you’ll be able to learn a new language, conquer Wall Street, even remember everything you’ve ever seen or heard.” The side effects, however, are brutal.

Edge: Ken Jeong.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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