Look Prince William: I understand that you’re royalty, and that you’re in line to be the next King of England, and that the position requires of you to look stately and dignified, but dude: It’s “Livin’ on a Prayer,” and I don’t give a sh*t who you are, when you’re standing on a stage with Bon Jovi singing that song, you’re living the dream. Loosen your bow-tie, son. Let that combover fly. Belt that sh*t out. The air-guitar overture was a nice touch, but I want to see you down on your back squeezing out sweet, sweet Richie Sambora squeals. MAKE THAT SIX STRING TALK. ACT LIKE YOU KNOW.
It is for charity, after all (the Centrepoint Charity, to be exact). And Taylor Swift? Maybe rein it in a little. I like the enthusiasm, but you look like someone’s grandmother trapped in a 22 year old’s body.