I was once an avid consumer of news coverage, but besides what I hear for 20 minutes on NPR each morning and what I can glean from my Facebook timeline, I don’t feel like I understand what the f**k is going on in the world anymore. Part of that reason is because I have my head up pop-culture’s ass too much to pay attention to what’s happening in Ukraine, and part of the reason is because television news is unwatchable. How anyone could’ve sat in front of their television sets and consumed the wall-to-wall coverage on a missing airplane is a bigger mystery than the whereabouts of that plane.

Black holes? They legitimately discussed the possibility of black holes on a f**king news network? Are you kidding me? Could it get any more preposterous?

Thank God CNN had experts on to explain away any notion that a Lost-like event had transpired.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.