If someone ever ask you in a very public setting — say, a popular nationally televised game show — if you could change one part of your husband’s body, here’s a little advice: Don’t say his penis. Say his spare tire. Or his bald head. Or his flat ass. Or even his moobs. But for God’s sake, leave the man’s penis out of it.
This poor bastard will not only never, ever hear the end of it, but now he’s going to know that he’s a disappointment to his own wife. But he just smiles it off. You know why? BECAUSE HE’S ON NATIONAL TV, AND HE HAS A SENSE OF DECORUM.