film / tv / substack / social media / lists / web / celeb / pajiba love / misc / about / cbr
film / tv / substack / web / celeb

santa-ana-car-crash.jpg

We Have So Many Questions About the Car that Crashed Through the SECOND Floor of a Dentist Building

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | January 15, 2018 |

By Dustin Rowles | Videos | January 15, 2018 |


santa-ana-car-crash.jpg

On Sunday in Santa Ana, California, a car hit a center divider, flew into the air, and crashed into the second floor of an office building. If you haven’t seen the footage yet, it’s unbelievable!

Here’s what’s even more unbelievable: No one was badly hurt. The two occupants of the air that flew into the sky and crashed into the side of a building and stuck there suffered only minor injuries. One managed to get out immediately, while it took authorities about an hour to remove the other. We know nothing else about the car’s occupants other than the driver admitted to using narcotics.

That is some Wile E. Coyote shit, y’all, and I just have some questions:

1) How many narcotics do you have to take before you don’t realize that you’re traveling at a high speed across a busy intersection. I mean, even if you don’t see the light, you ought to see THE BUILDING RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU.

2) Can someone do the calculus on how fast a car must be going to hit a divide and leap over a TWO LANE street and wedge into a second-story building about 15 feet into the air? There’s gotta be some sort of algebraic equation that could solve that.

3) Did you see the bus that sped past less than a second after the car leapt over the street? What was that bus driver thinking? I mean, he’s just driving along like any other day and he sees a car flying across his windshield. And best I can tell from the video, the bus driver didn’t slow down. There was no reflexive jerk of the wheel — he drove straight ahead, as though a car hadn’t just flown in front of his face.

4) What are the people in the car thinking at that moment? Are they just thrilled to be alive? Or is some kid freaking out because he just crashed his Dad’s car into a second-floor dentist’s office? I bet the driver is some Cameron Frye motherf**ker and he’s screaming at Ferris Bueller for convincing him to take his Dad’s car out.

5) Do you think any of the firefighters on the scene said to the people in the car, “This is not how Thelma and Louise works?”

6) Do you to go jail for this? Or do you get a medal?

7) Did either of the car’s occupants shit themselves? And how bad would it suck if you shat yourself and then had to sit in it for an hour until firefighters pulled you out? Do you take your pants off before or after you’re rescued?

8) Is the dentist stoked because he gets the day off? Or because of all the free exposure to his office? Check out the dentist’s Yelp page now!

Screen Shot 2018-01-15 at 8.32.50 AM.jpg

And check out his Yelp reviews:

Screen Shot 2018-01-15 at 8.34.15 AM.jpg

(The other reviews, by the way, were also very good).

9) Seriously, the bus driver is the real hero of this story, right? I just can’t get over how unflinching that bus was.

10) From the Washington Post: “The second floor, which is a storage space for files, suffered minor damage.” That’s minor damage? THERE’S A CAR WEDGED INTO THE SIDE OF THAT BUILDING and that’s minor damage? You’re not helping the dentist with his insurance claim, WashPo.

Image via Orange County Fire Authority