A few years ago, at the height of Dave Eggers fame, I stood in line for about three hours to get a book signed by the man, who at the time I considered something of a idol. However, after standing in line for eons, I noticed that Eggers was actually engaging with readers as he signed their books — he was chatting them up! — and I realized that I would have to speak to him, that I would be required to say something to the man.

It was a terrifying thought.

After three hours, I got two people away, and I bailed. No fucking way, I thought, was I going to say something stupid in front of Dave Eggers and regret it for the rest of my life. And you know what? I have never regretted not talking to Eggers (while I will forever regret speaking to one of my other idols, Elvis Costello).

There’s a lesson in here for everyone: If you see your idol, run the other way. Do not engage; you will always regret it. Nick Kroll learned that lesson the hard way, when he spotted Bill Murray and asked him to come and watch his stand-up performance.

Bad idea.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

← You Can Never Have Too Much of Nasim Pedrad's Aziz Ansari Impression

LEGO Batman Movie In the Works →