The Best Of Twitter's #TrumpCantSwim Tide

By Kristy Puchko | Twitter | September 6, 2016 |

By Kristy Puchko | Twitter | September 6, 2016 |

Trump has been dominating Twitter “Moments” this past week thanks to the weirdly racist yet delicious threats of his supporters, and the epic fail of his brood to seem super cool and relatable. But the latest wave of Trump tweets began as a willfully silly conspiracy theory: #TrumpCantSwim

BOEHNER: So, I thought of something.
RYAN: What's that?
BOEHNER: Trump doesn't know how to swim.
RYAN:
BOEHNER: Think about it.

— Owen Ellickson (@onlxn) September 4, 2016

According to that dreaded Moments tab, this tweet from a political comedy account was the beginning. But the hashtag got kicked into high gear thanks to comedian Patton Oswalt, who shared a string of #TrumpCantSwim tweets with his 2.8 million followers as an appetizer, before feasting on the fetid ego of Martin Shkreli.

Why would people be Tweeting #TrumpCantSwim? Do they think that hashtag is gonna take off or something?

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) September 5, 2016

Naturally, Twitter ran with it.

#TrumpCantSwim and his kids can't be sprinkled with holy water. pic.twitter.com/KAhWvkrttm

— Crutnacker (@Crutnacker) September 6, 2016

I keep hearing #TrumpCantSwim to the tune of "Girls on Film."

— Sean Thomason (@TheThomason) September 6, 2016

#TrumpCantSwim but sources say he can stay submerged & breathe thru his scalp as his hair extends above the water like a demonic snorkel.

— Kumail Nanjiani (@kumailn) September 6, 2016

This #TrumpCantSwim Nonsense is out of control. He's the best swimmer! The best! He graduated from @trumpUni with a degree in swimming!

— Joliet Jake (@JolietJake420) September 5, 2016

Because #TrumpCantSwim this is happening to our beaches. pic.twitter.com/gbwuYMcK05

— Jeremy Newberger (@jeremynewberger) September 5, 2016

#TrumpCantSwim because he is one of those turds that sinks instead of floats#TacoBowl

— Russell Barth (@russellbarth) September 6, 2016

It's not that #TrumpCantSwim but that water melts him.

— Sam Josephs (@SamJosephsSN) September 5, 2016

this comes up when you google trump and swim* #TrumpCantSwim

omg

i need #eyebleach pic.twitter.com/AKgFHqiSy7

— Professor Doom (@PhD_femme) September 5, 2016

He owns many pools. The best pools. Never being seen in one seems wrong, suspicious. If you don't like pools, why the pools? #TrumpCantSwim

— Fish in Pants (@TheThinGrayLine) September 5, 2016

#TrumpCantSwim but don't worry, he's taking lessons pic.twitter.com/qvDBLQ0lGJ

— RMJ (@rmccarthyjames) September 5, 2016

.@realDonaldTrump I demand you present us with your Level One Guppy Certificate from your local Dolphin Kid's Swim Club.#TrumpCantSwim

— Dan Telfer (@dantelfer) September 5, 2016

Hey girl, Did you hear that #TrumpCantSwim? Dammit, I told everyone Ryan Lochte would make the better Republican presidential candidate.

— Paul Ryan Gosling (@PaulRyanGosling) September 6, 2016

lying liberals claiming #TrumpCantSwim when he literally has blobfish for hands smdh pic.twitter.com/fveibNjswg

— Saladin Ahmed (@saladinahmed) September 6, 2016

#TrumpCantSwim but he can sink lower than most people.

— Patti Davis-Aus (@pattidavisaus) September 5, 2016

#TrumpCantSwim EVERYONE, QUICK pic.twitter.com/DjYCTJmZXR

— Eboni Jones (@eboni_ebby) September 5, 2016

#TrumpCantSwim? Honey, that grifter has been swimming in debt for decades.

— Mrs. Betty Bowers (@BettyBowers) September 5, 2016

College swim coach of @realDonaldTrump shoots down rumor that #TrumpCantSwim - "Best damn breast stroker I ever saw" pic.twitter.com/gnHlUo2jZk

— Michael (@Schmutzie_) September 5, 2016

. #TrumpCantSwim the trump-tanic won't float either pic.twitter.com/eB64JSf0K5

— TRUMP=LAST BUFFOON (@last_buffoon) September 5, 2016

Fired up Trump stumpers responded with anti-Hillary tweets, because they take ridiculous conspiracy theories way too seriously.

Who cares if #TrumpCantSwim, Hillary can't even stand up. pic.twitter.com/V8s9deZf3a

— KGB Agent Elizabeth (@MissLizzyNJ) September 6, 2016

#TrumpCantSwim? No kidding, at least he can walk pic.twitter.com/e90XZH4EwK

— Victor Nikki (@hapkidobigdad) September 5, 2016

Whether it true or not, who cares if #TrumpCantSwim.
Then again, maybe he doesn't have to.#MAGA pic.twitter.com/V9So65Vo4m

— Genesis (@pmicc33) September 6, 2016

Overenthusiastic Trump supporters that are taking this hashtag seriously #TrumpCantSwim pic.twitter.com/3rGTMquajj

— #icebearforpresident (@aphbels) September 5, 2016

But for perfection, we turn to a parody account.

This is a blatant lie. I taught Michael Phelps everything he knows. He should give me a gold medal. I always wanted one. #TrumpCantSwim

— Donald J. Trump (@realdonalbtrump) September 5, 2016