7 Shows I've Hated Myself For Watching
I was recently alerted to the fact that the fall premiere of Grey’s Anatomy had come and gone without my noticing. Normally it would have auto-recorded, but I recently moved and haven’t taken the time to program the new DVR yet. So when I saw that Grey’s had already started, I subconsciously said to myself “oh, shit! I better record that” and then went into a shame spiral that had my neck swinging back and forth between the Angel that wanted better things for me on one shoulder, and the Devil who wanted to see me trapped in a lazily written hell of my own making for all of eternity on the other. It went a little something like this:
Angel: Record Grey’s for what? That shit is dumb and you have better things to do with your time.
Devil: But You’ve watched it from the beginning, why stop now? Don’t you want to know who DeLuca bones next?
Angel: You hate almost everybody on that show. Owen Hunt is an angry red boil, Jackson Avery is a whiny twerp, why would you willingly spend time with these people?
Devil: But you’ve never missed an episooooooooode….
Well, I bet you can guess which bitch won that battle. Not only did I schedule my DVR to record all future episodes, I sat down over the weekend and tried to catch up OnDemand, because who am I kidding: I watch Grey’s Anatomy. That’s just how it’s got to be.
Here’s the rub, Grey’s Anatomy, now in its 15th season, is dumber than ever. Yet, I caint quit it. And it’s not the only show I’ve shown unreasonable dedication to. There have been others. There are other shows that I’ve watched to the bitter end, despite knowing all the while that I’m wasting my time, rotting my brain, and giving up some small, yet essential, modicum of spiritual growth.
So here, in the spirit of full disclosure and to cleanse my soul of what makes me weak, I present the 7 stupidest shows I have stuck with through thick and thin. Whether compelled by some misguided sense of loyalty, hoped that it would improve, was practicing brainless self-soothing, or it was out of sheer stubbornness, I continued to watch these shows until the wheels fell off. And then kept on watching until they were canceled.
My excuse: What can I say, Anjelica Huston in Anjelica Huston drag is a huge turn-on. Plus, I’m a musical theater nerd and it was in the contract.
Party of 5
My excuse: Two words: Melo. Drama.
My excuse: See Smash only replace Anjelica with Kristin Chenoweth.
My excuse: See Party of 5
My excuse: Latent internalized misogyny with a twist of schadenfreude? The soundtrack? This one’s a real head-scratcher.
America’s Next Top Model
My excuse: Makeover tears, every time! It was an easier yes when the Jays, Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker, or Andre Leon Talley were on, but then… things continued. At least we’ll always have the memes.
My excuse: I enjoyed watching Blair Waldorf Salad make terrible life choices, I guess.
My excuse: Connie Britton. Why I kept watching after she died in a SECOND life-altering car crash is between me and my steroid-shooting gay cowboy who just so happened to show up on Grey’s Anatomy a couple of episodes ago! It’s a sign, y’all. The Universe is speaking to me through Seattle Grace Mercy West Harper Avery Memorial Hospital!
Oh shit, this plot goes even deeper than I thought!
My brain; it feels funny.
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