Sh*tkicker Ranking 'Raw Deal,' This Week's Snarly Episode of 'Justified'

By Dustin Rowles | TV | February 26, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | February 26, 2014 |

10. Tim Gutterson — Got left hanging, a fate worse than death.

9. Johnny Crowder — Never try to lead when you’re a follower, Johnny Crowder. Look at where your name is in the credits and act accordingly, lest you end up dead in a Mexican desert. RIP.

8. Danny Crowe — Danny Crowe got Boyd into one hell of a mess on account of his having sh*t for brains, and you can bet your Wranglers that Boyd won’t let that slide. If Yoon gets involved, Danny isn’t likely to make it back across the border. Good riddance to that son of a bitch. I hope they feed him to his own dog.

7. The Rest of the Crowes — I think, after realizing that Daryl killed Dilly, Wendy is a wink-and-a-grin from Raylan away from turning on Danny, which may end up costing Wendy her own damn life. Meanwhile, Kendal is looking elsewhere for a better living situation, and if he rats out Danny, you can add Daryl to the list of people most likely to kill Danny. Either way, Danny’s days are numbered (Danny, Dewey, Daryl? What gives here, writers? Are you trying to confuse us?) Things are not looking up for the Crowes, but you damn well know that Dewey somehow dumb-f*cks his way to survival. That guy always manages to use his own stupidity to elude death.

6. Ava Crowder — She’s still in prison, and she’s on the verge of losing her thin grasp on protection from the Christian drug peddlers, unless she can swing a distribution channel into the prison for heroin. On the other hand, she didn’t have to f*ck any guards in this week’s episode. I’m calling that a win in what has increasingly become a tedious subplot, Danielle Panabaker notwithstanding.

5. Art Mullen — I know it shouldn’t affect my enjoyment of Justified, but I tell you what, I can’t see Nick Searcy anymore without thinking of this, and now I kind of want Raylan to get the better of this conflict, which has Givens angling for a transfer out of Kentucky. I used to have more sympathy for Art, but now that Nick Searcy has made an ass of himself, I can’t help but to see Art as a dick.

4. Raylan Givens — Raylan eventually got the best of T.C., but not before being shown up on two occasions. It was another one of those episodes where Raylan just kind of drifted toward the right places and the right time without any actual use of his charm, intelligence or gunfighting abilities. He succeeded despite being outsmarted.

On the downside, well, there’s Art.

3. Boyd Crowder — On the one hand, Boyd got the best of Johnny Crowder, although that was some bullsh*t Steven Moffat saved-by-the-presto! writing. On the other hand, Boyd’s on the other side of the border with a lot of dead bodies and product he’s going to have some difficulty getting back into the states. That’s yet another downside to working with the Crowes: They are all meanness, and no competence.

2. Alison — Two weeks off owed to a suspension, and Raylan didn’t shack up with Wendy Crowe. In this episode? I call that a win, especially given the draw of Wendy’s tramp stamp. I gotta confess, too, that as much as I like Amy Smart, I’m partial to Alicia Witt’s character. I think she’s found her milieu: Sassy, smoking-hot white trash.

1. T.C. — T.J. has one leg, is going to jail for grifting, and in the meantime, lives in his grandmother’s basement, and yet, I feel like T.J. is the kind of guy that’s going to be OK. I mean, life’s pretty good when you’re always the 7th caller. Plus, if you squint real hard and see the guy playing T.C., you can tell that — minus the moustache and the bad hair — he’s got presence. The guy’s name is T.J. Linnard. He’s also in Looking.