Rob Delaney's 'Sexy Beasts' is Like Speed Dating On the Island of Dr. Moreau

By Petr Navovy | TV | June 23, 2021 |

By Petr Navovy | TV | June 23, 2021 |

Claude, you sublime, inspired sonofab*tch. Thank you. If you hadn’t given me that title, I would be adrift in an ocean of confusion as to how to introduce this…

This…

Thing.

This Netflix thing.

Look, there’s no natural way to segue into this, so let’s just get the description out of the way: Netflix’s Sexy Beasts is a blind dating show in which the participants get made up in B movie-level prosthetic likenesses of various animals and mythical creatures. The first season is due to air on July 21st. According to Variety, Netflix has ordered two seasons of the show.

Just to hammer that home, this is a still from a dating show in the year of our lord 2021:

Look I’m perfectly aware that I’m falling hook line and sinker for this. I know this. I’m aware. I’m reacting exactly as the smug wan*ers who came up with this thing want me to be. I’m giving them free advertising. Do I care? Hell no! Why? Because look, a dating show:

The announcement and trailer for Sexy Beasts both caused quite a stir in the Pajiba Slack channel. Some whipped out their pitchforks, others the popcorn. But all were engaged. And in the end, isn’t that the platonic ideal of #content reactions? Sexy Beasts looks like the logical endpoint of a culture imploding in on itself in the throes of late-stage capitalism (ha, thought I couldn’t squeeze that word in here, didn’t you?), but it also looks like something that I just need to see. And hate. And yet watch more of. It’s a very confusing set of feelings. Not pointing any fingers as to the culprit who might’ve originally brought this up in the Slack—*COUGHCOUGH*—but thank you and also go fu*k yourself.

Here’s the damn trailer, just drag your eyeballs over it already:

Oh yeah! Forgot to mention a key thing! Another point in Sexy Beasts’ favour: The narration is provided by one of the absolute kings of Twitter, the one and only super socialist dad, Rob Delaney!

Will that be enough to outweigh these lot?

Who knows. All I know is I need to find out.