With the pandemic far behind us, people are returning to the movies in droves! … Wait… I’m sorry, I’m just learning that neither of those things is true. Let me start over.
With most of the country vaccinated … hold on. Um.
Everything is terrible! In an attempt to ignore that, some people have returned to movie theaters (yeah, that’s the ticket). If you’re like me, you miss the comforting darkness of a theater. You don’t miss people talking through the movie or taking out their phones, which are basically flashlights in a dark theater. Theater etiquette is one of mankind’s least honored social contracts. Enter The Daily Show correspondent Michael Kosta to fix all that!
OK, not really.
In a new web exclusive, Kosta walks viewers through a theater etiquette refresher. In classic Daily Show-style, this is a bit of a misdirect. It’s not for the rule-followers but the rule-breakers. For instance: Wanna go grab snacks? Make sure to bribe the projectionist so he can stop the movie when your supply of Dots runs low. So you’re still kind of being considerate?
I miss casually going to the movies. My wife and I have twin baby boys, so between finding someone to watch them and making sure we go to a mostly empty theater to avoid contracting the Delta variant and passing it on, it’s been more trouble than it’s worth. Segments like this make me long for a simpler time. Until that time returns, I’m going to see if Kosta can snag me a bootleg of Dune to watch on my mini DVD player perched on the toilet next to my bathtub. Just as Denis Villeneuve intended!
Header Image Source: Comedy Central