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Colbert Tries To Guess What Crimes Got Mar-a-Lago Raided

By Andrew Sanford | TV | August 10, 2022 |

By Andrew Sanford | TV | August 10, 2022 |


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Our 45th President loved to commit crimes. He just holed up in his Oval Office, licking ketchup off the walls, sending out his cronies to commit crime after crime after crime. You see, he thought himself a bit of a mob boss. He assumed he would never be caught or punished or charged. Well, guess the f*** what? The FBI raided the home of that wanna-be mobster on Monday. It looks like he may finally get in trouble for his crimes. So the question is: Which crime is it??

To kick off the newest episode of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, writer Brian Stack channeled his inner game show host. There’s only one rule to this game: try and guess what crime is so serious that two judges would sign off on raiding the home of a former commander-in-chief. Simple enough, right? Wrong! Because there are so many crimes!

I have been giggling uncontrollably at every update to this story, so I was primed for a sketch like this. But, even without my preemptive enthusiasm, this bit is pretty perfect. It highlights an absurdity about the former leader of our country that we’ve all kind of learned to live with. We just end up shaking our fists at the sky and yelling, “Damn you, crimes” and hoping something will happen. Seeing it all laid out like this plays into that, while also being an excellent use of Brian Stack.

There is, of course, a chance that it will amount to nothing. That Crime Guy will go on living his crime-committing life. But we can hope and laugh until then. Then, if all else fails, we shake our fists at the sky, cursing crimes and being burned alive by the sun.