Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Dustin Rowles | Star Wars | December 24, 2015
Spoilers below, although if you’re clicking on this article and you have not seen The Force Awakens, just be honest with yourself: You’re looking for spoilers so you have a reason to be angry because the anger hides your pain and loneliness.
Maybe the best thing to come out of Star Wars: The Force Awakens besides the movie itself (and the cast singing the Star Wars medley a capella, the Finn/Poe fan fiction, and Oscar Isaac’s Christmas duet with Daisy Ridley) is Emo Kylo Ren, the best Emo character since Emo Spidey.
The parody twitter account really gets to the heart of what’s driving Adam Driver’s character: It’s all about hating his parents, eyeliner, and My Chemical Romance CDs. Here’s the best of what the account has offered since it debuted 3 days and 111 tweets ago.
*comes to school after a three-day weekend* my name isn't Ben any more it's KYLO REN and i'm a dark knight
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 21, 2015*jar won't open*
*takes jar into kitchen*
*much grunting*
*three hours pass*
*entire kitchen is destroyed except jar which remains sealed*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015*sings sadly into mirror*
when will my reflection show
who i am inside?
*puts on dark helmet*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015*force-slams his bedroom door*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015*applies black eyeliner*
my parents don't understand me and i hate them
*applies black helmet*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015the only person who could truly understand what i'm going through died on the second death star before i was even born
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015my name is kyle
my name is kyle
my name is kyle
my name is KYLO
fucking autocorrect
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015i get all my winter clothes at Hoth Topic
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015you can't truly appreciate the imperial march until you hear it on vinyl
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015holden caulfield knows what it means to commit to a bold choice of headgear and i respect that
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015*comes downstairs in pajamas*
*clears throat* there's been an awakening
are there pancakes?
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015the dark side is the source of my unbelievable power
*as he angrily fails to unwrap a processed cheese slice*
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015i prefer dark craft beers
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015mom please don't even pretend you know what I'm going through right now
also we are out of conditioner
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 22, 2015mom
please check your texts
i had a fit of extreme power and rage where i mistakenly force-crushed my retainer
— Emo Kylo Ren (@KyloR3n) December 24, 2015
