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'Rogue One' Just Put Out A Bad Trailer And Nothing Is Right With The World

By Emily Cutler | Star Wars | October 13, 2016 |

By Emily Cutler | Star Wars | October 13, 2016 |

Usually I’d just stick this trailer in the header like normal, but I need to give you dear readers a warning. You might not want to watch this Rogue One trailer. If you can, avoid the trailer for the next two months. I’m still of the mind that this movie is going to kick all of the ass, but this individual trailer, unlike the two before it, is, well, terrible. And slightly spoilerish in a way I would not have picked were I in charge. So I’m actively advising you to back out of this post right now if you want your Rogue One experience to remain pristine.

Everybody who doesn’t care for disappointment gone? Great, let’s go to the tape.

Goddamnit, what happened?

Why so much information on plot? Why so much backstory? Why do we now know exactly who everyone is in relation to everyone else? Why in the sweet holy fuck did the trailer’s editors cut to a reaction shot of Donnie Yen at 1:35 that looks like he only now understands what rebellions are built on? Oh, it’s hope? Jyn Erso is the key piece to this puzzle because she knows what rebellions are built on?

And I know that I’m going to sound like a cynical, unfeeling bitch, but for the love of god, stop putting the emotional speeches/turning-points in the trailers. It’s ineffective in the trailer because we don’t have the right context, and less effective in the movie because we know it’s coming. Too many goddamn trailers have ruined what would be awesome moments in movies, and it has got to stop.

Which is, again, not to say that this movie isn’t going to be amazing. But maybe everyone in Hollywood needs to take page from Beyoncé’s playbook. No more twelve month ad campaigns. No more third and fourth trailers. No more fucking teasers for the trailers. Just drop that shit, and roll out. Jyn seems like she deserves that much.