I find the Important Stuff so you don’t have to.
5. Ashley Olsen Quit Acting; People Tried to Recall Ever Having Seen Her Act.
What is there to say about this? Don’t let the door hit you in the ass, sweetie.
4. Wynken, Blynken and Nod: Dick Van Dyke (86) Married His Make-up Artist, Arlene Silver (40). Dennis Quaid’s Third Wife Filed for Divorce. Michael Madsen Was Arrested.
Good on you, Dick. 86 and still going strong.
Quaid, on the other hand, seems to be finding less success as he ages. The actor’s wife filed for divorce, citing the relationship had “become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities.”
And then we have Madsen, who seems to be headed directly toward the bottom of the barrel. Allegedly intoxicated, the Kill Bill actor was charged with child endangerment after he discovered his teenaged son smoking marijuana and got into a fight with him, trying to take it away. Nice mug shot!
3. Tom Cruise Is the Latest Rumored Beyonce Partner for Clint Eastwood’s A Star Is Born, But Who Cares?
Will Smith, Christian Bale and Leonardo DiCaprio are all rumored to have turned down playing Kris Kristofferson to Beyonce’s Streisand; now Tom Cruise is in talks to co-headline. Haven’t we already established that no one wants to see Beyonce act? Isn’t she Madonna’s disastrous film twin? Who wants to see this bomb, regardless?
2. Javier Bardem Is Poised To Play Another Cormac McCarthy Villain in Ridley Scott’s The Counselor.
Hot on the excited heels of Scott’s Prometheus is his next directorial outing, Cormac McCarthy’s (script) The Counselor. Michael Fassbender has already signed on (he’s doing back to back films with Scott) and now the rest of the cast is quickly expanding with big name actors. Javier Bardem and Jeremy Renner are in negotiations; Bardem is rumored to be Scott’s preference to take on another of McCarthy’s villainous roles (edging out Brad Pitt). In addition, Natalie Portman is rumored to be first choice for the female lead. Said to be in the vein of No Country for Old Men, The Counselor is about a respectable lawyer who tries to expand his business into the drug trade, ending up (of course) over his head.
1. Ewan McGregor Will Soon (Hopefully) Glorify Our Televisions With His Weekly Presence.
In news that has some of us positively giddy, Ewan McGregor confirmed that he has completed shooting the HBO pilot for “The Corrections.” After several failed attempts at a film adaptation of Jonathan Franzen’s National Book Award winner about the trials and tribulations of a midwestern family, Franzen is taking his story to premium television. Co-starring Chris Cooper, Diane Wiest, Rhys Ifans, Maggie Gyllenhaal and possibly (rumored) Anthony Hopkins, McGregor portrays middle son, Chip. If HBO picks up the series, Franzen and Noah Baumbach (The Squid and the Whale, Margot at the Wedding, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou) have four, ten episode seasons planned.
Cindy Davis has no illusions.