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You Can All Just Kiss Off into the Air: In Memory of the Best Tweets from "Sons of Anarchy" Showrunner Kurt Sutter

By Cindy Davis | Lists | August 16, 2011 |

By Cindy Davis | Lists | August 16, 2011 |

I have a soft spot for Kurt Sutter, not just because I love “Sons of Anarchy,” but also because we suffer from the same ailment: foot-in-mouth disease. (Also, maybe too much bitterness in our hearts.) But one of us will be less likely to spew bile in the form of 140 characters or less; this past Sunday, Sutter laid his oft-quoted Twitter account to rest. Now, Sutter being Sutter, this doesn’t mean we won’t be privy to his thoughts … on his show, the industry and his reactions to “SOA” praise and criticism — his blog is still running strong and his WTFSutter youtube series rides on. But I, for one, shall miss the man’s succinct and sardonic soapbox squawking:

  • “me, david simon and frank darabont are meeting at home depot to rent chainsaws and woodchippers.”

  • “sorry. need an attitude shift… rainbows and puppies. fuzzy ducks and teddy bears. apple pie and sunsets. lollipops and handjobs… damn.

  • because you know if we were nominated i’d be all humble and blowing smoke up their asses. now i can stay true to myself and just be a dick.

  • “there’s only 1 gun down my pants and it’s only half-cocked.”

  • “Had most of the day to process the GG snub…still want them all dead.”

  • “F—k glee. hate those annoying, ‘please accept me for who I am’, singing brats. there, I said it. are you happy?”

  • “why darabont got fired - weiner. he held AMC hostage, broke their bank, budgets were slashed, shit rolled down hill onto gilligan and frank,” “no one else wants to f—-ing say it, but the greed of mad men is killing the other two best shows on tv — breaking bad and walking dead.”

  • “the worse part of not getting any emmy nods is all the wasted blowjobs i gave at the academy picnic. my breath still smells like sour amonia.”

  • “the worse part of not getting an emmy nod. katey promised me a threesome if she won. now i have to settle for me, her and the shaved bunny.

  • “i have trouble determining the line between honesty and brutal frankness. i usually get pushed past it by bullshit and injustice. apparently speaking one’s mind is outrageous, troublesome and self-indulgent. man, this is a town full of silent, terrified dicksuckers.”

  • R.I.P. @sutterink. “Sons of Anarchy” returns 10 p.m. September 6.

    Cindy Davis should never be allowed to tweet.

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