Which Movie Franchise Casts the Most Intensely Bland, Forgettable Leads?
Quick: Name a male lead in one of the Final Franchise movies? Excepting Ali Larter and Mary Elizabeth Winstead, name a female actress in one of the Final Destination films. I would guess that 93 percent of you can’t name anyone besides the recurring Tony Todd. And that’s because no one casts more bland, forgettable teenagers than the Final Destination franchise, a film series that insists that you not develop any attachment to the characters before they dismember them (gloriously in the first two movies, less so in the latter two).
And still, the series continues, satisfied with filling in gaps on slow weekends in the box-office release schedule, collecting an easy $30 or $40 million on $10 million budgets. Besides the first one, does anyone remember the plots of the other three? Have here been any break-out stars from the five Final Destination films? Maybe Winstead, who most can only recognize from Scott Pilgrim, and Ali Larter was cast exactly because she was already recognized as a 90’s relic. In fact, here are eight lead actors from the last four Final Destination films, plus two from the forthcoming Final Destination 5. Can you match any of them to their pictures? Which name belongs to the female? Kerr Smith, Miles Fisher, A.J. Cooke, Michael Landes, Bobby Campo, Ryan Merriman, Nicolas D’Agosto, Devon Sawa, Miles Fisher, Kris Lemche, and Nick Zano.
I’m fairly certain they were all bred from the same petri dish. Have you ever seen a more homogeneous group of actors? Maybe they’re all cast-offs from Clearasil commercials.
I bring this up now because the first trailer for Final Destination 5 was released today. You can watch it below. Or don’t. A minute after you leave this page, you won’t remember if you did or not, anyway.