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When I See the Way You Paint Your Lips and I Smell Your Perfume: The Worst Fake Blondes

By Cindy Davis | Lists | August 7, 2011 |

By Cindy Davis | Lists | August 7, 2011 |

Ladies, you do not have to be blonde to be beautiful. I repeat, blonde not necessary. There are so many simply gorgeous women—actresses especially—who seem to think they are somehow inferior if they’ve not gotten blondified. Many start out with a few highlights; next thing you know, they’re full on bleached out, over-peroxided, extra-crispy platinum-headed and (I presume) their intelligence quotient has dropped a good ten points.

Yes, I do realize acting roles may call for the blondifying, but there are just too many who leave that bleach on long past its time. Some of these ladies claim blonde is their natural color, though clearly they’ve gone way past the sensible line of demarkation and turned themselves into caricatures. It seems to be a part of that whole crooked visual definition of what is sexy: platinum blonde, big hair, basketball boobs contained only by the stretch of a spandex minidress, stilettos with clear plastic heels and lips that are plumped, by hook or by crook. I’m not saying some people don’t find that a hot look; rather that there are other ways to catch a fish. But these ladies haven’t quite figured that out yet and so, they must be called out for failure to check the mirror in natural daylight…mismatching skin tone and hair color…the inability to see themselves as they truly are…and a complete misunderstanding of what makes them beautiful. Either their colorists are assholes laughing behind clients’ flaxen manes or they are completely and utterly inept.

Here are your top ten Fake Blonde Bimbos:

10. smgblonde.jpg

9. Emma-Stoneblonde.jpg

8. cherblonde.jpg

7. kidblonde.jpg

6. anistonblonde.jpg

5. lohanblonde.jpg

4. robertsblonde.jpg

3. beckhamblonde.jpg

2. albablonde.jpg

1. rwillisblonde.jpg

Cindy Davis may be guilty of a highlight or four, but don’t email just to tell her how stupid she is.

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