Like any questionable parent, I let my child watch a lot of TV. It’s the only way I’m getting anything done in the evening ever. So if I have work to do and dinner to cook and the kid asks to watch “Snowfia” or “Doc A-Stuffins” or “Daniel Tigherhood,” I’m going to let her. And, because of that, I’ve watched a lot of children’s programming. A lot. And there’s been one thing that’s blown my mind hard while doing so—the voice actors. Because we KNOW them.
Here are just a few of the real-life actors who voice characters on the shows your kids watch. Unless you don’t let your kids watch TV, in which case YOU’RE SO COOL, WHAT A GREAT PARENT, so here are the actors who voice characters on the shows us bad parents’ kids watch.
Hallie Hippo = Loretta Devine
Stuffy = Robbie Rist, aka, Cousin Oliver from The Brady Bunch
And the one-episode guest stars include Sutton Foster, Geena Davis, Amy Sedaris, Molly Shannon and a holiday Arrested Development reunion with Jeffrey Tambor as Santa Claus and Tony Hale as an elf named—wait for it—Tobias.
Sofia the First:
Sofia = Ariel Winter, aka, Alex Dunphy from Modern Family
Queen Miranda = Sara Ramirez
Baileywick = Tim Gunn
Clover = Wayne Brady
Crackle = Ellie Kemper
Mimimus = Eric Stonestreet
Guest stars include Viola Davis, Kiernan Shipka, Jeffrey Tambor again because of course, Ginnifer Goodwin, Alyson Hannigan, John Michael Higgins, Bonnie Hunt, Megan Mullally, Nick Offerman, Phylicia Rashad, Oliver Platt, Tracey Ullman, Melissa Rauch and ALL THE DISNEY PRINCESSES. LIKE ALL OF THEM. It’s glorious.
Sheriff Callie = Mandy Moore
Tio Tortuga = Carlos Alazraqui
Ella Cowbelle/Abigail Crane/Frida Fox = Mo Collins
Priscilla Skunk = Cree Summer, aka, Freddie from A Different World, Susie from Rugrats, Penny from Inspector Gadget and basically every other animated show ever made, and singer of one of my favorite Lilith Fair jams which makes me want to cast spells with my friends as we wear flowy skirts and pick daisies. Basically I just really love Cree Summer.
Jake and the Neverland Pirates:
Skully = David Arquette
Captain Flynn = Josh Duhamel, star of Robin Scherbatsky: Secret Ghost Wife
Red Jessica = Jane Kaczmarek
Mama Hook = Sharon Osbourne
Pip the Pirate Genie = Jerry O’Connell
Winger = Lisa Loeb
Percy the Penguin = Rhys Darby
Guest stars include Tiffani Thiessen, Harland Williams, Bobby Moynihan, Jack McBrayer and Adam West.