The 30 Sexiest Movie and TV Moments from 2016
With the first week of January all but behind us, it may seem time to be wrapping up with the year-end lists. (We have those covered.) But I say “screw it”—it’s Friday, and I want to run down the 30 sexiest moments of the year, both movies and TV. In no particularly order other than the way my our collective Pajiba pants guide us.
“So, here’s where you all learn I’m basically a cave woman; Chris Pine coming out of nowhere to own that asshole in the green car in Hell or High Water.”—Genevieve Burgess
It’s tough to find gifs because the movie’s so recent, but I humbly submit Mahershala Ali’s everything in Hidden Figures. It’s been a great year for him, with a supporting role in Moonlight that has him heavily favored for an Oscar nom on top of a more prominent baddie turn in Netflix’s Luke Cage. But for my money, it’s as Katherine G. Johnson’s (Taraji P. Henson) upstanding military man suitor that Ali’s sexiness shines. Look, we all have our caveman/woman instincts, but there’s something about “hey girl, I respect your mind and your morals and will happily co-raise your three children” that can make one go weak at the knees, too. It’s not too late to cast Ali as a romantic leading man in something, right?
Speaking of Luke Cage… that first episode sex scene with Luke and Misty Knight. Yowza.
Tulip’s introduction in Preacher. I only watched the pilot, but between her and Dominic Cooper I feel like I got a whole season’s worth of sex appeal.
The holiday-themed sex montage in Deadpool, specifically *gulp* “International Women’s Day.”
From Westworld: “Maeve boning Hector right after she stabs herself in the abdomen. It……did things.”—Bekka Supp
Bekka also submits Tormund giving Brienne the sex eyes in Game of Thrones. “So subtle but my gaaaaaawd.”
Apologies for the terrible gif quality, but the whole “sun’s out, guns out” scene of Mister Doctor (Benedict Cumberbatch) and Mordo (Chiwetel Ejiofor) training in Doctor Strange was… something else. This scene takes place in Tibet! There’s no reason for Ejiofor to be rocking a monk wifebeater if not to show off his arms!
The Dressmaker is a trash fire of a movie, but the scenes where Kate Winslet does a striptease at a rugby match and Luke Hemsworth strips down to be measured for a suit are just plain fire.
Two from Captain America: Civil War: Chris Evans and his tight shirt-clad torso keeping that helicopter from taking off was the pantydrop moment heard round the world…
…but let’s not forget Chadwick Boseman’s cat landing. Guys. I am looking forward to Black Panther SO MUCH.
We switch gears now from superhero movies so docs, specifically Steven Cantor’s Dancer, about “bad boy of ballet” Sergei Polunin. Eventually, the movie gives into the inevitable and takes a pause to show the entire music video for Polunin’s “Take Me to Church,” directed by David LaChapelle and conceived as Polunin’s personal, emotional goodbye to his fans. It’s… yeah.
“Not only is Sing Street magic, but Lucy Boynton is magic, exposing the sweet but damaged orphan underneath the wannabe hearbreaker model. The idea of making a band to impress a woman is DUMB, until you see Lucy Boynton’s character, then you completely understand why the kid did it.”—Dustin
It’s tough to pick the sexiest Diego Luna bit from Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, on account of he is a sexy, sexy man, but that “welcome home” moment did something to me.
Similarly, I could just embed a gif of the entirety of Park Chan-wook’s The Handmaiden here. But in a movie that has multiple (and steamy) actual sex scenes, it’s the bathtub scene where Sook-Hee (Kim Tae-ri) uses a thimble-covered finger to grind down a rough took in Lady Hideko’s (Kim Min-hee) mouth that really stands out. For some reason.
“I’m only human.”—Dustin, on the Zac Efron tailgate party scene during Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising.
“I’m only human, Part 2.”—Dustin, on ripped Jim Halpert in Bayghazi epic 13 Hours.
In other Bayghazi news, I would also like to submit James Badge Dale dragging that big-ass tire. Look, it’s ridiculously hyper-masculine to an almost parodic degree. It’s Bay. I know that. I make neither excuses nor apologies.
“An unimpressed Kim Wexler in a sweatshirt in bed lecturing Jimmy about legal ethics after the Hoboken Squat Cobbler incident [in Better Caul Saul]. There’s something very intoxicating about the combination of PJs and the moral high ground. “—Dustin
“Shirtless Chris Darden/Sterling K. Brown calling in to tell the shock jocks that Marcia is totally hot in The People V. O.J Simpson.”—Genevieve Burgess, screencap via GFY. Side note: I’m totally going to watch The People vs O.J. Simpson now.
All you need to know about this shot of André Holland in Moonlight is that it literally takes place during the main character’s wet dream.
From High Rise, an otherwise mediocre movie, but God damn. Submitted without comment.
Tyler Hoechlin splitting the baseball in Everybody Wants Some!!. Ignore the pornstache and focus on the abs. He actually did that, too. First try. Hoechlin is a golden god.
And speaking of Everybody Wants Some!!: A friend of mine suggested that J. Quinton Johnson lounging around in short shorts is nothing to be mad at, and honestly, who am I to deny righteousness?
That same friend suggested A Bigger Splash, which I have not yet gotten around to seeing, but is basically sexy people being sexy for two hours. There’s also an oral sex scene, and protip: Don’t do a Google Image search for “A Bigger Splash oral sex.” Just don’t.
I’m, uh, just gonna leave this gif of Douchehair Steve levelling up in badass in Stranger Things here. Aaaaand… walking away.
This shot from Magnificent Seven is totally about Chris Pratt’s gun. Yyyyup. Totally about the gun.
There’s a moment in Korean zombies-on-a-train movie Train to Busan where the wholesome sidekick/comic relief character doffs his stupid popped-collar blazer to unleash some zombie mayhem, and you finally see what he’s working with. And. Well. It’s pleasing enough to my person that I’m willing to overlook the fact that you should really more evenly distribute the tape across your hands and arms if you don’t want to get bit by a zombie, man, c’mon.