Dear Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences: Suck It | The 2011 Fun Oscars
Welcome to the the second annual Fun Oscars. We take movies very seriously here at Pajiba, but personally, I find the Oscars to be… tiresome. I’m always interested in the outcomes, but have little interest in the ceremony itself, and since the Academy so rarely gets it right, I’m still left wanting at the end of awards season.
Yet there’s more to movies than who had the best dramatic role, what film moved us the most. Many people, like myself, go to the movies not just to be enlightened, but to be entertained. Amused. Excited. And sometimes, the Oscars don’t really reflect those films. Going to the movies should be fun, and god damn it, sometimes I just want to sit back and enjoy the ride, be it comical or action-packed. The choices below are not from great movies, but they are are great fun. The nominees are the ones who showed us a good time, the ones that took us for a ride that left us a little disheveled, a little breathless, and regardless of how silly, we had no regrets.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: The 2011 Fun Oscars.
Note: Nominees and winners are derived from via a complicated formula that you are most likely entirely too stupid to understand. Suffice it to say that involves eight bottles of Sam Adams, an order of whole-belly fried clams, the pancreas of the son of a motherless goat, and a blood sacrifice to the great Vigo the Carpathian (also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised, Vigo the Unholy, and Vigo the Butch).
Best Supporting Actor
William Fichtner, Drive Angry — Because when you play a hellspawn who destroys everything in his path while listening to KC and the Sunshine Band, you’ve earned it
Charlie Day, Horrible Bosses — For being the very definition of “hilariously hapless.”
Woody Harrelson, Friends With Benefits — For the rare non-stereotypical depiction of a gay man, and for … “I live in Jersey! And I ain’t takin’ no ferry! Unless it’s out to dinner and a show … Bam!”
Ryan Gosling, Crazy Stupid Love — Because everything about this role is ridiculous and hilarious, up to and including his accent. I loved every minute.
Clark Gregg, Thor — Goddamnit, the man deserves some sort of recognition for his tireless efforts in the Marvel films, and this was his time to shine. And he did.
WINNER: Clark Gregg
Best Supporting Actress
Patricia Clarkson, Friends With Benefits — Between this and 2010’s Easy A, Clarkson is slowly cornering the market on clever, awesome moms.
Marisa Tomei, Crazy Stupid Love — Oh, honey, you were a special, hilarious, gorgeously sexy, kind of bugfuck crazy.
Melissa McCarthy, Bridesmaids — Honestly, I could’ve nominated the whole cast, but McCarthy won the lion’s share of the film’s hilarity.
Jennifer Aniston, Horrible Bosses — Dear Jennifer: Do more like this. Sincerely, TK.
Milla Jovovich, The Three Musketeers — This movie was gawdawful, but oh, the Milla was just so, so good.
WINNER: Melissa McCarthy
Jason Segel, The Muppets — Charming, funny and adorable will always win you points.
Robert Downey, Jr., Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows — The Downey’s Sherlock Holmes will always be near and dear to me.
Craig Roberts, Submarine — One of the most underrated, underseen movies of 2011, and Roberts was absolutely wonderful.
Johnny Depp, Rango — Almost didn’t pick him, since Rango was nominated for an Oscar, but Depp was too much fun in this to resist.
Taylor Lautner, Abduction — I firmly believe that Lautner is just fucking with us. No one can actually be so hilariously bad.
John Boyega, Attack The Block — The strongest character in a great film, Boyega was a teenage badass the likes of which you seldom see.
WINNER: Craig Roberts
Kristen Wiig, Bridesmaids — I want to spend every afternoon watching Wiig be drily, awkwardly hilarious.
Mila Kunis, Friends With Benefits — “If you tell anyone about this, I will rip your ears off and staple them to your neck.” ‘Nuff said.
Emma Stone, Crazy, Stupid, Love — I want Emma Stone in all the things.
Anna Kendrick, 50/50 — I also want Anna Kendrick in all the things, particularly as the smart, clever, cute-as-a-button therapist.
Gwyneth Paltrow, Country Strong — This was a comedy, right? RIGHT?
Chloe Grace Moretz, Hugo — Isabelle is everything I want in a daughter — slightly nerdy, very brave, and totally awesome.
WINNER: Mila Kunis
Bridesmaids — It’s only one of the funniest movies of the past five years.
Attack The Block — Much like Sam Raimi’s Drag Me To Hell, Joe Cornish’s film is a wonderful little throwback film that’s a genuinely fun, scary flick.
Thor — In an increasingly crowded market of superhero films, Thor wasn’t the best, but it’s one of the most fun.
Horrible Bosses — I loved this movie. Everything about it. It’s an exercise in uncomfortable hilarity and goofball hijinks.
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol — I spent so much time holding my breath during MI: GP that I almost fainted.
The Muppets — Because, I mean, come on. It’s the fuckin’ Muppets.