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The 17 Assholes We Can Hold Responsible For The Nightmarish Global Wine Shortage

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | October 30, 2013 |

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | October 30, 2013 |


Just in time for Halloween, CNN printed a story that will strike fear into the hearts of millions: the world is running low on wine. LOCK UP YOUR CELLARS. According to reports: “Global production fell by more than 5% last year - to its lowest level since the 1960s - primarily due to bad weather in France and Argentina.” This. Shall. Not. Stand. I demand we find out who is responsible and since I can’t burn the weather in effigy I’ll hold these assholes accountable. STOP DRINKING ALL THE DAMN WINE, PEOPLE. Don’t you know we’re running low?

Skyler White (that b*tch)
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Cersei Lannister
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The Crane Boys
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Olivia Pope
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Neal Caffrey
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Dr. Lahiri
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Dr. Torres
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Tyrion Lannister
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Liz Lemon
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Penny
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And…Most Of All…The Cul-De-Sac Crew
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