The 17 Assholes We Can Hold Responsible For The Nightmarish Global Wine Shortage

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | October 30, 2013 |

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | October 30, 2013 |

Just in time for Halloween, CNN printed a story that will strike fear into the hearts of millions: the world is running low on wine. LOCK UP YOUR CELLARS. According to reports: “Global production fell by more than 5% last year - to its lowest level since the 1960s - primarily due to bad weather in France and Argentina.” This. Shall. Not. Stand. I demand we find out who is responsible and since I can’t burn the weather in effigy I’ll hold these assholes accountable. STOP DRINKING ALL THE DAMN WINE, PEOPLE. Don’t you know we’re running low?

Skyler White (that b*tch)

Cersei Lannister

The Crane Boys

Olivia Pope

Neal Caffrey

Dr. Lahiri

Dr. Torres

Tyrion Lannister

Liz Lemon

Penny

And…Most Of All…The Cul-De-Sac Crew