The 10 Least, And 5 Most, Surprising Hollywood (Registered) Republicans

By Rob Payne | Lists | December 14, 2011 |

By Rob Payne | Lists | December 14, 2011 |

So often Hollywood’s politics is generally considered to be a blanket liberal elitism that it can be easy to forget that Arnold Schwarzenegger isn’t the only Republican in town. Some conservative stars are so successful that it really makes any cry of anti-“Real America” just seem like desperate cries for attention — actually, that fits into the Hollywood me-first model rather well. And that doesn’t even take into account how many of the most profitable movies basically promote a right-wing worldview without resorting to Ayn Randian delusions, like with there being no discussion of abortion in Juno or Knocked Up as a viable option, for example.

So, in that regard, it’s somewhat refreshing that BuzzFeed released a list of “confirmed” Hollywood conservatives, mainly in that they almost every single person listed was a “registered Republican.” It could vaguely be interpreted as a blacklist of sorts, or a witch hunt, if you buy into fringe politics, because, admittedly, I’m not entirely sure why these performers’ ideologies really matter. But it is a good reminder that there’s no part of this country is either Red or Blue in total, and that we all live and work together in relative harmony, no matter how much we might disagree.

What follows, though, are a pair of lists in reaction to the original BuzzFeed article that, using the rubric of stereotypically batshit insane wingnuts, which gets highlighted in the media more so than sane discourse, makes these Republican revelations either surprising or not. Concerning the latter, the reaction is probably based on their creative output and/or how they deal with their successes or failures. The former, though, are just obvious and backed up by quotes from the actors themselves.

The 10 Least Surprising Hollywood Republicans

Mel Gibson

“You’re an embarrassment to me. You look like a f***ing pig in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of n***ers, it will be your fault.”

Scott Baio

“I’m NOT racist for posting a pic of M.O. My WIFE’S BEST FRD IS BLACK,HELLO.”

Jon Voight

“It is a socialistic, Marxist teaching and with it, little by little, he rapes this nation, taking down our defenses, making new language for the Islamic extremists.”

Stephen Baldwin

“I’m not involved, I don’t want to be involved… it’s a charitable situation and whatever God’s going to do, God’s going to do.”

Chuck Norris

“If not I, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star State, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state. … I’m not saying that other states won’t muster the gumption to stand and secede, but Texas has the history to prove it.”

Sylvester Stallone

On the Presidency: “Things may change along the way, but there’s something about matching the character with the script and right now, the script is being written and the reality is pretty brutal and pretty hard edged, a rough action film, and you need somebody who’s been in that to deal with it.”

Ben Stein

“Scientists are not even allowed to think thoughts that involve an intelligent creator.”

Shannen Doherty

“If God wanted us to be naked, why did he invent sexy lingerie?” (Original Source Nigh Impossible To Find Unknown)

Robert Duvall

“It bothers me that certain people in the Republican Party are attacking the McCain-Palin ticket.”

Pat Sajak

“So that’s it. It’s just a bunch of scared, white males who would yelp about anything this gang came up with. As Rich makes clear, this is merely a replay of the opposition to the Voting Rights Act of 1964. You get it? If you express opposition to the bill, you’re a racist, sexist homophobe.”

The 5 Most Surprising Hollywood Republicans

Sarah Michelle Gellar

I guess this is the reason she’s never been substantially involved in any Joss Whedon joint besides “Buffy?”

Adam Sandler

For someone who redistributes moviegoers’ wealth into the pockets of his untalented, hanger-on friends, I find this very unexpected.

James Earl Jones

Mufasa?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Alice Cooper

I didn’t realize damning the man and freakin’ out the squares meshed with trickle down economics. Learn something new every day.

Clint Eastwood

If his films are anything to go by, he must be the most vocally anti-violence/anti-war/anti-racism/pro-euthanasia Republican in the entire country.

Rob Payne also writes the indie comic The Unstoppable Force, tweets on the Twitter @RobOfWar, and his ware can be purchased here (if you’re into that sort of thing). He admits the quotes in this list were harder to compile than he thought, a lot of those 40 Republicans are far too sane to be remotely funny.