After the disasters that were AHS: Freak Show and Coven, I made myself a promise: I will not watch the next season of American Horror Story. Fool me once Ryan Murphy, good on you. Fool me twice; I’m getting into GW Bush territory, and no one wants to go to there.
Now that was a horror show, folks. The point is, like Emily, I swore to myself it just wasn’t worth the trouble to get into bed with Murphy again; no matter how good it seems like the series is starting off, it’ll devolve into an incomprehensible mess. Why torture myself? And then, I heard the casting rumors, the premise, the inspiration, the promises, and like a true addict, I felt a tiny part of myself following the curious part of myself. Well, I’ll take a little peek; what could that hurt? Let me watch the teaser — that doesn’t mean I’ll watch it — I should know for work what people are talking about. Maybe I’ll wait and see what people say about the premiere, and decide from there? Next thing I knew, I was changing out the header picture of the Facebook group, and admitting my weakness in front of everyone, and so should you (Yes, you too, Emily).
***Spoiler Warning: Minor spoilers for all the AHS seasons may be contained herein.
1. Murder House and Asylum Were Pretty Great:
They’re how we got ourselves into this mess in the first place, and with good reason. Murder House was cool, creepy and completely addictive. Not only did Murphy assemble an excellent cast, including Connie Britton, Dylan McDermott, Francis Conroy, Denis O’Hare, and a reinvigorated Jessica Lange, he managed to completely suck us into a new kind of ghost story, and introduced the absolutely terrifying Bloody Face. Things with Asylum got a little messy, but even throwing in mutilation, psycho Nazis, singing nuns, the devil and aliens, the story wrapped up in a satisfying way. Because of those two seasons, I still believe it’s possible for Murphy to reign himself back in, and get back to what we loved about AHS.
2. No Jessica Lange:
Let’s get real; Murphy got a little carried away with The Jessica Lange Show theme, and the series suffered for it. We love La Lange, and seeing her command whatever world Murphy gave her has been a treat. I’ve no doubt she’ll eventually return, but the idea of a little break and giving the other stars a chance to take the lead is appealing. If we feel a little Lange-pang, we can always play this on a loop:
3. Murphy’s Promised He’s Putting the Horror Back in Horror Story:
“The upcoming season that we’re doing is much more horror-based; it’s much more dark. It’s about a theme and an idea that’s very close to my heart that I’ve always wanted to do that’s a little bloodier and grislier I think than anything that we’ve done before; it’s straight horror this year.”
“Particularly this season…is about a personal fear and phobia that I have that I haven’t explored since the first season of Horror Story because it f—ked me up and I didn’t want to write about things I was scared of — but I wanted to go back to that.” (Ryan Murphy) Hotel will include stories based on real events, such as the death of Elisa Lam,
and characters based on killers John Wayne Gacy and Aileen Wuornos.
4. The Cast:
Wes Bentley and Denis O’Hare
Kathy Bates and Sarah Paulson
Angela Bassett, Cheyenne Jackson and Chloë Sevigny
Matt Bomer and Evan Peters
Plus, Lily Rabe, Mädchen Amick, Mare Winningham, Finn Wittrock, Max Greenfield, Darren Criss, Emma Roberts, Richard T. Jones, Helena Mattsson, Christine Estabrook and Naomi Campbell.
5. Lady Gaga:
I mean, come on, this woman is theatrical. She was born to be an actress, and whatever she’s doing, Gaga is all in.
“She’s the only actress I think I’ve worked with who wanted to do more explicit stuff than was written. You write a foursome for her and you expect a lot of questions. She never did that. She showed up and she was wearing diamond pasties, a Band-Aid on her hoo-ha, heels, and a black veil that Alexander McQueen made for her on the day before his death. Then the crew gasped in delight and we were off!” (**Spoilers at the link Murphy)
See you tonight, kids. (We can check out any time we like, right?)