Last night’s Emmy’s were full of deserved wins and great speeches, so it’s easy to overlook one of the weirdest parts of not just this show, but basically every awards show ever: the pairings of presenters. I don’t know who’s in charge of matching up these pairs, but they are crazy geniuses.
Pairing We Most Want to Insert Ourselves Into the Middle Of: Amy Poehler & Amy Schumer
Side bar: Allison Janney and her see-through dress are also invited to that party.
Dual Award for Creepiest/ Biggest Envy of All 90s Girls: John Stamos & Gina Rodriguez
Stamos’ hand was doing some major wandering after the nominee announcements, and no one seemed to mind.
Most Mind Meltingly Boring: Maggie Gyllenhaal & Liev Schreiber
Should Always Appear Together In Everything: Anthony Anderson & Tracee Ellis Ross
Most Amused By Themselves and Each Other: Jane Lynch & Eric Stonestreet
Best Impression of a Minister Who Brought a Homeless Man to the Emmys: Colin Hanks & Will Forte
Least Likely To Be Able To Handle Sharing the Stage With Another Human: Lady Gaga
Good call, Emmys producers, for clearly recognizing that Gaga is too just slightly but disturbingly off to have anyone next to her.
Too Glorious To Share the Stage With Anyone Else: Tina Fey
Just Tina, her wonderful glasses, and a big ol’ bouffant. That’s all that stage can handle.
Most What-Do-You-Even-Say-About-How-Gross-And-Uncomfortable-This-Was: Taraji P. Henson & Terrence Howard
Best Side Bangs: Marcia Gay Harden & Lena Heady
Biggest Imbalance of Personality: Mindy Kaling & Zachary Levi
Levi’s contribution to the pairing seemed to be “Look handsome and giggle at Kaling.” Which, to his credit, he nailed.
Hattiest Hat: L.L. Cool J
Fewest F*cks Given: Mel Brooks
He talked too long, shouted at Ianucci, then spent most of Veep’s acceptance speech taking selfies with the cast and team.
Best Rant: John Oliver
Best Distraction: Ben McKenzie & Jaimie Alexander
Pairing We Wished Were Real: Viola Davis & Robert Durst
Not cool, Samberg.
Best Everything, Period: Tracy Morgan
I didn’t think anything in this show could evoke more joy than Anna Chlumsky’s face every single moment a camera was on her, but then Tracy Morgan took the stage fifteen months after his traumatic accident and threatened to impregnate a whole bunch of celebrities at the Emmys after party.