Raise Your Boom Mics to These Blisteringly Hot Directors, Part 2
We talk a lot about hot actors here on the Pajibz—because we are intellectual, sensitive souls who are A Smrt people with A Smrt thoughts, but we recognize that it’s OK to be superficial sometimes, too—but it’s been a while since we’ve done a post dedicated to hot directors. Since 2012, even! In Internet time, that’s practically Paleozoic! A whole new crop of directors has popped up on our leonine (because lions) radar. Such as…
Director of Fruitvale Station and Creed, currently assembling an almost unfairly attractive cast with Black Panther. Chadwick Boseman. Lupita Nyong’o. Michael B. Jordan. Taking into account talent both behind and in front of the camera, Black Panther is going to be the most attractive MCU film ever, right? Or could that be…
Thor: Ragnarok has Chris Hemsworth, Mark Ruffalo, Idris Elba, Cate Blanchett, Tessa Thompson, Tom Hiddleston, Karl Urban and JEFF GOLDBLUM, plus this sexy slice of Kiwi manmeat (What We Do In the Shadows, Hunt for the Wilderpeople) in the director’s chair. Damn, Marvel. Keep it up.
Ana Lily Amirpour
This director has only one feature film to her name so far, the excellent Iranian vampire noir western A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night, though she has another one in the pipeline that’s shaping up to be bonkers good. She also has a punk vibe that totally works.
Bow before your queen.
Director of The Impossible, The Orphanage, the first two episodes of Penny Dreadful, and the upcoming A Monster Calls and Jurassic World sequel. More like J Eyyyyy Bayona, amirite? Now deal with that neckbeard and we’ll be golden.
Speaking of directors whose natural schwinginess is hampered by unfortunate follicular situations: Cary Fukunaga, director of Jane Eyre, Beasts of No Nation, and the season of True Detective that didn’t suck. I prefer to focus on the positive rather than whatever the fuck’s going on with that braid picture.
Antoine Fuqua is as hot as anyone in his Magnificent Seven cast, and that list includes Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt, and Byung-hun Lee.
I’m not quite sure what’s going on here, but Edgar Wright is still very nerd cute.
Suits will get you a long way with me, OK?
Whether it’s Point Break era or 21st century, it doesn’t matter - Kathryn Bigelow exudes an effortless ain’t-give-no-damns cool. Why can’t I make a t-shirt work like that?
Jon M. Chu
The filmography of GI Joe: Retaliation, Jem and Step Up 2 the Streets’s Jon M. Chu may be iffy - the Justin Bieber concert doc Justin Bieber: Never Say Never is his highest-rated film on Rotten Tomatoes, so, you know, that’s great - but really, isn’t knowing how to work a leather jacket more valuable in the long run than being good at your job?
Polley beat out Ben Affleck for the one spot afforded on this list to an actor-turned-director. Sorry, man.
Cuarón, director of Gravity, Children of Men, Y Tu Mamá También, and A Little Princess, a bona fide masterpiece that we do not talk about nearly enough, is the King of the Silver Fox Brigade, along with…