Danny Boyle’s latest film, Trance, opens this weekend. Though I was able to see some extended clips from the film at SXSW, I’ve not yet seen the final product. And though there are some clear cut criminals (Rosario Dawson and Vincent Cassel) and a fairly typical patsy (James McAvoy) the completely batsh*t nature of the film which centers around reality-bending hypnosis keeps us from really know who the villain of the piece is. Though, I mean, how can it not be Cassel? The man is drenched is f*ckweaselry.
Whoever the villain ends up being, they’ll join the hallowed ranks of Boyle’s big bads. You have to admit, he does evil very well.
10. SWINTON — The Beach: One of Boyle’s weakest efforts but through no fault of SWINTON who SWINTONs all over this thing.
9. Religious Zealotry — Sunshine: Uh, this is why you should always wear sunscreen, folks. One of the world’s most-used villainous actors, Mark Strong plays the heavy in this space cabin fever plot. It’s his belief that for their sins, all men must fry. It’s not the most refined moral message I’ve ever seen, but it’s thrilling. Oh and trust me, on the sunscreen.
8. Cameron Diaz’s Singing Voice — A Life Less Ordinary: Ruined a perfectly good dance number, it did.
7. Forgetting To Leave A Note — 127 Hours: Seriously, kids, that’s why you always leave a note.
6. Goddamn Mortality — Millions: Taking mom from wee little Catholic kids and making them cry thus making me cry? Mortality, you b*tch.
5. Fast Moving/Rage Infected Zombies — 28 Days Later: My favorite take on the zombie survivalist genre ever. That’s right, suck it hard, “The Walking Dead.” Let’s ignore the “rage infected” bit, because it’s just silly and there’s nothing silly about these fuckers.
4. Heroin — Trainspotting: It makes you see this kind of sh*t and that is the most evil thing I can imagine.
3. The Rigid Socio-Economic And Class Disparity In Modern Day India — Slumdog Millionaire: In true Dickensian fashion, it’s not the big bad mobsters who are the real criminals in this film, it’s the terrible poverty and lack of legitimate social mobility. This film gets a lot of crap for being too overly saccharine and sentimental, but I think it’s one of Boyle’s finest stories. Even if it does end with the Bhangra.
2. Fucking Roommates…Man — Shallow Grave: If they’re not leaving their dishes in the sink, they’re holed up in the crawl space plotting your demise.
1. This Guy. Again. — 28 Days Later: Eccleston, you bastard. Okay the real bad news in this story is not the fast-moving mother*ckers I mentioned above, it’s the people who are still “human” who’ve lost every shred of humanity. That terrifying reality is personified perfectly by Christopher Eccleston’s Major Henry West. He’s a hard one to top.