So Cameron’s Diaz’s Bad Teacher opened quite well this weekend. That means that despite bad reviews and a blatant Bad Santa rip-off, there was something com-fucking-pelling about the concept of a chick that swears a hell of a lot. Well, if that’s the case, America, let’s see how you do with a list of goddamned foul-mouthed ladies. You know, ones from good movies where the swearing adds to the moment and isn’t there just to cover up a shitty plot and worn out concept. Some of them are funny, some are emotional, some are unexpected and some of them are motherfucking scary. So here they are, you fuckmunchers, my personal favorites. Are you upset because your favorite isn’t on here? Well, fuck you.
Mona Lisa Vito—My Cousin Vinny
Imagine you’re a deer. You’re prancing along. You get thirsty. You spot a little brook. You put your little deer lips down to the cool, clear water - BAM. A fuckin’ bullet rips off part of your head. Your brains are lying on the ground in little bloody pieces. Now I ask ya, would you give a fuck what kind of pants the son-of-a-bitch who shot you was wearing?
Car Rental Agent—Planes Train and Automobiles
Marla Singer—Fight Club
My God. I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.
Chris Parker—Adventures in Babysitting
Don’t fuck with the babysitter.
THEY DO NOT! At the feedstore do I say, “Oh, now Wally, give me a bag of that F-in’ pig feed, and a pound of that bitchly cow corn”? At the bank do I say, “Oh, Mrs. Malenger, here is one big bastard of a check, now give me some of your Christ-ing money!” THERE, LOOK THERE, NOW SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO
O-Ren Ishii—Kill Bill
The price you pay for bringing up either my Chinese or American heritage as a negative is… I collect your fucking head. Just like this fucker here. Now, if any of you sons of bitches got anything else to say, now’s the fucking time!
Julie Powers—Scott Pilgrim
Caramel Macchiatto for #@!* Pilgrim
Elizabeth Darko—Donnie Darko
Did you just call me a fuckass? You can go suck a fuck.
Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?
Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa! Fuck me, Santa!
Fuck you, too. Don’t call me “lady.” I come in here, I give these things to you, you check, you make your phone calls, look suspicious, ask questions. I’m sick. I have sickness all around me and you fucking ask me about my life? “What’s wrong?” Have you seen death in your bed? In your house? Where’s your fucking decency? And then I’m asked fucking questions. What’s… wrong? You suck my dick. That’s what’s wrong. And you, you fucking call me “lady”? Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on both of you.
Okay you cunts… Let’s see what you can do now!
Honey Bunny—Pulp Fiction
Any of you fucking pricks move, and I’ll execute every motherfucking last one of ya!
Molly Weasley—Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part II
Not my daughter, you bitch.
Joanna Robinson found it really hard not to censor those swear words. So, you know what? You’re fucking welcome. Also she would be damn pleased if you mentioned your favorite fucking lady swearer in the comment.