I find the Important Stuff so you don’t have to.
6. Timothy Olyphant Visited Sesame Street.
Let’s be clear; there is almost nothing better than a crazy-haired Olyphantypants. If only there had been a surprise Jeremy Davies appearance…
5. JT Switched out His Dick for a Ring in a Box, and got Hitched to Jessica Biel.
Following several days of partying and fireworks in Southern Italy, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel married Friday. The sound of Britney’s tears falling were heard round the world.
Meanwhile, Timberlake is Accused of “Being the Cause of Britney Spears’ Meltdown.”
In the ongoing trial between the Spears family and Britney’s former manager and friend, Sam Lutfi, Jamie Spears’ attorney stated that Britney’s 2002 break-up with Timberlake left her angry and depressed…setting off her downward spiral. Yeah, I’m sure there’s not a bit of mental illness involved.
4. The Second Mama Trailer Dropped.
Guillermo del Toro produced this thriller starring “Game of Thrones’” Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Jessica Chastain as guardians of their young nieces, who were miraculously found alive in a cabin after five years alone. The girls disappeared when their mother was murdered; as their uncle and aunt try to acclimate them to normal life, they find that whomever helped the children survive may not be quite ready to give them up. Cue the skeery music.
3. David Fincher Set Out to Collaborate with Brad Pitt Again.
Looks like Fincher is ready to reconnect with his muse. The director wants to follow up The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Fight Club and Se7en with a classic: Jules Verne’s 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. Though Disney is reportedly reviewing the cost of the project before green lighting it, a script by Scott Z. Burns (The Bourne Ultimatum, The Informant) is already in place and Fincher wants Pitt as Ned Land (previously played by Kirk Douglas in Richard Fleischer’s 1954 film). There’s no word yet on Captain Nemo casting, other than “an older A-list star.”
2. Stephen Colbert Set Out on an Unexpected Journey.
Comedy Central’s self-confessed Tolkien fan has somehow managed to land a cameo in Peter Jackson’s Hobbit trilogy. Though his appearance (presumably as an extra) will not be in the first outing (The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey), Colbert did visit the New Zealand set. I can’t wait to play “Where’s Colbert?”
1. Andy Serkis Announced He’s Directing an Adaptation of George Orwell’s Animal Farm.
And speaking of parlaying one’s talent to maximum effect, the fantastically brilliant Andy Serkis—who is Second Unit Director on The Hobbit trilogy—is moving on to greener pastures. He’ll make his directorial debut with a motion capture adaptation of Animal Farm, “…using an amalgamation of filming styles to create the environments.” Serkis says the film is in an experimental phase; he intends to see “…how far we can take performance capture with quadrupeds, and how much we will be using facial [capture]. We are not discounting the use of keyframe animation or puppeteering parts of animals.” As for the story itself, Serkis says he will not be focussing on the politics (?) as much as the “fable-istic” aspect—he wants the film to be emotionally centered and family audience friendly.
Cindy Davis wakes up with crazy hair every day.