NBC announced on Friday that they’ve signed a deal to develop a series of movies based on the life and music of Dolly Parton. This seems like a smart move because I don’t think there’s a person alive who doesn’t like Dolly Parton, is there? It’s a law of nature or something. Anyway, here are just a few suggestions for Dolly-related movies we wouldn’t mind seeing.
8. Epidermis of Many Colors In which Dolly finally reveals her secret tattoos. (Alternate title: Love Is a Butterfly on Your Lower Back)
7. Is-lambs In the Stream: Dolly the Woman Meets Dolly the Cloned Sheep. Maybe they can take a road trip or something. I don’t know, this thing writes itself.
6. Just Because I’m a Woman: Or, That Time Dolly Lost a Dolly Parton Drag Costume Contest
5. Why’d You Come In Here Lookin’ Like That, Miley Cyrus? Featuring Dolly’s attempt to smack some sense into her goddaughter.
4. Dumb Blonde, Rich Blonde: How Dolly Launched Her Own Line of Wigs
3. I Will Always Love You, But Not Enough to Sell You My Songs About the time Dolly wouldn’t sell Elvis the rights to her mega hit.
2. Why, Why, Why… Is This Country Taking So Long to Embrace Gay Rights? In which Dolly is an outspoken supporter of her LGBT fans.
1. It’s All Wrong, But It’s All Right The story behind this beautiful romance that never was.