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Joss Whedon's Insidious Hidden Agenda Exposed

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | February 21, 2013 |

By Joanna Robinson | Lists | February 21, 2013 |

Listen, I’m with you. Whedon is a doll. As a writer and producer and director, he has provided me with countless hours of laughter and tears. He’s produced volumes of quotable lines, beloved characters and gut-wrenching drama. But buried beneath all that affable sci-fi geekery is a much more insidious plot. Yup, something’s rotten in the Whedonverse and we here at Pajiba are the only ones willing to speak out.

Sure sure, on the surface Whedon and his lovely wife seem completely normal. Surprisingly normal for Hollywood. But look closer. Look real close. Do you see it? Not yet? Well you will. Let’s start today’s in-depth and academic exploration with a look at a popular character from one of Whedon’s most beloved projects. This here is sort of a “Highlights” magazine exercise. Let’s see how you do:

Evil Willow

Good WIllow

See the difference? Not yet? Let’s break it down for you then:

Evil Willow Getting The Evil Willowyness Sucked Out Of Her By Xander’s Oppressively Strong Friend Love

Okay you’re with me now, right? Here we go.

Most Beloved Character — “Firefly”: Your mileage may vary. Perhaps you’re into perky mechanics or tight-panted captains. But I think if you poll the majority of the “Firefly” fanbase, this strawberry blonde will come out on top.

The Only One Who Could Cure Him Of His Horribleness — “Dr. Horrible”

The Best Whedon Couple Ever-“Buffy”

One Of A Select Few To Get The Better Of Our Hero — “Firefly”

One Of A Select Few To Get To Bed Our Hero — “Firefly”

The Best Thing She’s Ever Done — The Avengers

This Character At Her Best — “Buffy”

This Character At Her Worst — “Buffy”

Our Hero — Cabin In The Woods

Our Favorite Minister of Grace — “Angel” Okay FINE. It’s just a trick of lighting. Lorne is a blondie. Though I, for one, think the red horns should count.

According to Steven Lloyd Wilson, nearly every guest star on the first few seasons of “Angel” was a redhead. Since he’s watched it more recently than I have, we’ll have to take his word for it.

Your Least Favorite Whedon Show Are there some highlights of this show? Sure. You know how I feel about Gjokai. But this is far and away the least popular Whedon effort. Not a ginger to be found. Coincidence? I think not.

See what I’m ALLEGING is that for years and years now Joss has been pushing a creepy Ginger agenda on the general populace. And I’ll be silent about it no longer. This, this here is my manifesto. Etch it on your heart lest you ever forget.