I’ve long had an interest in dream interpretation and have been researching the subject for years. One particular off-shoot of the studies that has always been of particular fascination to me is how to interpret the presence of celebrity figures in our dreams and as such I’ve been compiling data as I put together my definitive book on the subject. What follows is a sample from my work:
Clive Owen: If you are to dream of this actor, and in the dream you were to rub his silky skin with your body, then you have whorish tendencies and are unkind to your husband who is wonderful and brilliant and strong, and you must repent of your wicked ways.
Jessie Eisenberg: To dream of Jessie Eisenberg means an evil and designing person is keeping watch over your conversation and plotting to do you harm. To see Eisenberg ascending on an escalator is a sure sign that you will defeat your enemies in battle, but to see him descending on an escalator denotes business failure and much distress caused from turmoils and wars between nations.
Natalie Portman: To dream of Natalie Portman wandering around a farm is significant of seasonable weather and a fine yield of crops.
Paul Rudd: Paul Rudd seen in a dream foretells easy access to blissful joys, and immunity from poverty and whatever brings misery. However, to discover that Paul Rudd has a small or detachable penis, denotes that your ambitions will exceed your grasp.
Tyra Banks: If Tyra is clad in fine apparel, but it is out of date, then the dreamer shall have fortune but scorn progressive ideas. If Tyra calls you “girlfriend” then you will be plagued with suicidal thoughts for months to come.
Pee Wee Herman: To see Pee Wee Herman in a dream denotes that you will clove a person beneath your station. To see a flying Pee Wee augurs that The Rapture is at hand and you must repent, however if he is doing the Tequila dance and you find yourself drawn with lust toward him, then an animal with rabies will bite you, you will be betrayed by your dearest friend, and much scandal will be brought to light.
Maru the Cat: If you are to dream of Maru the cat, and Maru is in a box, then all signs are favorable for the purchase of a lottery ticket, but if Maru is out of the box you must not engage in gambling of any sort, particularly dice games.
Miranda July: To dream of Miranda July holding an empty jar suggests a creative standstill, but if the jar was full of bees, then a time of great imaginative prosperity awaits. If you had congress with July underneath a ladder and paint was spilled upon you, then you must exercise caution in the web sites you visit.
Viggo Mortenson: To dream of Viggo is a great omen for all joy and fortune
ill be yours! If he was playing piano you will be blessed with many wives!
Zooey Deschanel: If you dream of Zooey Deschanel, and you see her on fields of green grass playing soccer in shorts that are slit just a little bit up the side, then you are of vigorous health and are true to you partner.
Tom Selleck: To dream of this actor, be he with or without moustache,
denotes that old age is advancing rapidly upon you. Take Glucosamine!
Katy Perry: To dream that you spy upon Katy Perry through a keyhole, foretells that you will damage some person by disclosing confidence. To dream that your hands were upon the breasts of Katy Perry and that the feeling was felicitous to both parties, then you will rise to exalted positions.
Justin Timberlake: To dream that you are annoyed by the singing of Timberlake, denotes a death in your family. To see him dancing, your fortune will gradually increase. To see him playing golf assures success. If you see him dead, you will suffer loss and displeasure, but if you were responsible for his death, be it by club or blade, you will come into an estate.
Snooki: To dream of Snooki betokens much distress, and evil-minded persons will seek to injure you in your best work. Ill health is foreboded and despondent hopes will grow gloomier. You will make a failure of life through egotism and selfishness, and anticipated pleasures will be interrupted by an unforeseen event.
Bono: To dream of Bono means that your children will have mental and physical retardation.
Michael Fassbender: To dream of the Fassbender is to dream of certain doom and shame.
Colin Firth: To be attacked by this hideous night terror denotes wrangling and failure in business. For a woman, this is a dream prophetic of disappointment and unmerited slights. It may also warn the dreamer to be careful of her health and food.
Jessica Simpson: If Jessica Simpson is wearing a black, leather mask and you are having sex with her then it means that you have been living a good and just life and that your fantasy sports teams will do well in the coming seasons, but if she takes off her slave mask and reveals the head of a goat, then you should take caution in trading, for
duplicitous foes are out to get you.
Amy Adams: To see Amy Adams riding a horse foretells that your Visa bill is considerably less than expected.
Oprah: To dream of Oprah denotes that you will form friendships which will prove beneficial and pleasing. For a young woman to dream that she hugs Oprah, it means that she will be able to command her own affairs whether they be of a private or public character. For a man to dream of wrestling Oprah denotes that a great blessing will be his and that he will command nations and nature with the thunder of his voice.
Kelly Brook: To dream of this pleasant British girl denotes normal appetite and desires. There is much good in this dream, lest she be clad, in which case small troubles and vexations will pursue you.
Mila Kunis: To see Mila Kunis with a broken leg you will have a contagious disease in your community, and will narrowly escape affliction. If you visit people there, you will hear distressing news of the absent. However, if she smells of flowers and fresh pine cones, then you should expect a rise in your political fortunes.
James Mcavoy: To dream of Mcavoy you will be turned over to your enemies by false friends.
Alexander Skarsgard: To dream of Skargard portends a tumultuous future of sexual doubt, experimentation and lamentation.
Marion Cottilard: To dream of Cottilard denotes that your present state will be one of unbroken pleasure and favor. If she bears angel wings, you will hear of the health of friends, and receive a legacy from unknown relatives. If you aggressively force yourself upon her, you will continue to have happy relations with your spouse.