Five Series to Binge Watch On Netflix Instant While Your Broke Ass Is Taking a Summer Staycation
To everyone who can afford a proper vacation, one where you go away to an exciting new city and venture outside your hotel for fun daily excursions to exotic places like ~restaurants~ and ~beaches~—get out. This post is not for you. Have fun with your caviar baths and your gold-plated toothbrushes, bourgeoisie scum.
Four seasons on Netflix = 73 hours of your vacation time
Add the prequel miniseries (also on Netflix) and TV movies (Razor, The Plan, Blood & Chrome) to the series proper and you’ll have a solid week of TV watching for your staycation. Just put everything breakable away before you hit the halfway point of the final season, because man, that’s quite the quality drop. If you have time, after recovering from the series finale (good luck) you might want to risk emotional whiplash and transfer over to a feel-good show like…
Seven seasons on Netflix = 106 hours, 45 minutes of your vacation time
It’s not impossible to watch an episode of Psych and not be in at least a slightly better mood than before you started, but it’s pretty damn difficult. This is light, frothy fun, full of pop culture references and guest stars out the wazzoo. The season seven finale is a musical episode, for Chrissakes, and unlike the Buffy musical it’s not all about depression and hell and “everything is turning out so dark.”
Once Upon a Time
Two seasons on Netflix = 22 hours of your vacation time
I recommend this one for those unlucky souls suffering through summer in a too-hot apartment. Because living in an oven tends to make one mentally sluggish, and not being 100% there, attention-wise, is the only way I’ve found I can watch Once Upon a Time without literally hitting my screen every time adorable, obnoxious youngster Henry says something cute and precocious. I don’t understand the relationship I have with this show. There’s something Stockholm-y going on. I’ll binge 6 episodes in a day before I get so frustrated about how You have such great secondary characters! Why are you focusing on the same boring protagonists and the same boring problems you’ve been writing about since the show started?! that I want to throw my computer across a room. Months later I’ve forgotten how bad it is and think Man, I wonder what those Disney characters are up to? I hear there’s villain version of Peter Pan now. Repeat ad nauseam. Don’t get sucked in like I did. Stay away.
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Eight seasons on Netflix = 41 hours, 36 minutes of your vacation time
There’s nothing for making you feel pretty good about your place in the world like watching the adventures of “The Gang,” a more misanthropic, psychopathic Seinfeld gang that owns a bar in Philly and turns the lives of everyone around them into complete shit.
Six seasons on Netflix = 96 hours of your vacation time
Bet you feel pretty good about not flying out to that tropical island now, huh?