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Ethan Hawke: Best Doucheface in the Business

By Agent Bedhead | Lists | October 17, 2012 |

By Agent Bedhead | Lists | October 17, 2012 |

Until now, I have to admit to never really appreciating Ethan Hawke’s doucheface for all of its clever nuances, but it impressed me so much in last weekend’s Sinister (even though some of you wanted me to spoil the entire film to justify apparent plot weirdness that I’d already conceded to in the review itself, i.e., the movie didn’t look good on paper, but the filmmakers and Hawke pulled it off). With that said, yes, there are moments when the the doucheface really works; like, say, when Hawke played the rookie police officer who learns the true nature of his partner in Training Day. Still I have to admit that Ethan’s doucheface may not just be part of his “craft.” I mean, who else did this at the 2007 Tonys? In any case, I have resigned myself (after two decades) to the fact that Ethan’s essence is here to stay in Hollywood. Here are eleven variations on his classic doucheface:

Douche who idealizes the winter of our discontent in Reality Bites:


Douche who hits on a callgirl in New York, I Love You:


Douche who yells “O captain, my captain!” in Dead Poet’s Society:


Douche who is a deadbeat dad in Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead:


Douche who is the epitome of genetic perfection in Gattica:


Douche who butchers Charles Dickens in Great Expectations:


Douche as unwitting vampire in Daybreakers:


Douche as a crooked cop in Brooklyn’s Finest:


Douche with an identity crisis in Taking Lives:


Douche who attempts postmodern Shakespeare in Hamlet:


Douche who learns the doucheropes with Denzel in Training Day:


Agent Bedhead lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma. She and her little black heart can be found at Celebitchy.