Last night while some of us were watching the GOP debate, some of us were pre-weeping over the final episode of The Daily Show With Jon Stewart, and some of us were caught in the vortex that is a Project Runway marathon, Fantastic Four director Josh Trank tweeted that the critically loathed movie is not his fault.
We’re not here to debate who’s to blame for the deadly dull superhero movie is (TK’s review can do that). We’re here to say, ‘You’re not alone, Josh!’ So here’s 10 other movies that have embarrassingly low Rotten Tomatoes scores.
Rotten happens, but schadenfreude heals all wounds.
Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2: 6%
Remember when that happened? Steven does. He said of it, “Every single person involved in this production should feel at least some shame for having contributed to the creation of this desolation of any purpose. ”
The Boy Next Door: 10%
Poor Steven also reviewed this J.Lo joint, proclaiming, “I can only imagine that the film was released in theaters because it was actually too stupid and nonsensical even to air on Lifetime.”
(Note: This was before Lifetime was cool.)
Taken 3: 9%
Our fearless leader Dustin saved the rest of us from a slapdash sequel, assigning to himself. “It’s madness!,” He wrote, “It’s cats breeding with rhinos! It’s Neil Degrasse Tyson unironically boning a Kardashian! It’s putting your pants on before your underwear! Everything is ruined. Christmas is cancelled. The Easter Bunny has been mauled by a T-Rex.”
Agent Bedhead declared this Hasbro-sponsored horror flick “less frightening than a rousing game of Chutes and Ladders.”
I, Frankenstein: 3%
TK took on the monstrous movie, sputtering out into an understandable rage, “It’s the perfect film for the festering trash heap that is the mid-January release dump. I hated it. I hate you. I need a drink.”
A summer movie so bad that Steve began his review with his resignation. No really.
Grown Ups 2: 7%
The Adam Sandler movie that makes Pixels a bit of a success (he had nowhere to go review-wise but up) pushed Dustin to just list his regrets in watching it at all.
The Host: 8%
Dustin took the bullet on this one too, fuming, “What I’m most incensed by is that Meyer — and the people behind The Host — are cruel enough to inflict such far-reaching stupidity into multiplexes, where the toxic asininity of it could leach into the masses.”
One For The Money: 2%
This Katherine Heigl vehicle is “a film really barely worthy of remarking upon,” according to Dustin. Who is clearly a masochist.
The Last Airbender: 6%
The summer flop that made M. Night Shyamalan a punchline drove Brian to give up the writer/director altogether, “For a long time, I’ve been an M. Night Shyamalan apologist…But no more. I’m done. We’re breaking up. He’s fucked with my heart for the last time. If you remember what it felt like when George Lucas raped your childhood, at least he had the common fucking decency to lube up first.”
Feel better, Josh?