But I Think That God's Got a Sick Sense of Humor: Five Things You May Not Have Heard About This Week

By Cindy Davis | Lists | September 23, 2012 |

By Cindy Davis | Lists | September 23, 2012 |

I find the Important Stuff so you don’t have to.

5. Jesus (May Have) Had a Wife.

This makes me want to sing, a la The Farmer in the Dell…Jesus takes a wife—but that’s probably not appropriate. Anyhoo, Harvard researcher and Divinity Professor, Karen King was given a scrap of ancient papyrus by a private collector, and asked to translate it (from Coptic). Of thirty-three words—incomplete sentences—King interpreted: “Jesus said to them, ‘My wife,’” “She will be able to be my disciple,” “I dwell with her,” and a reference to “Mary;” King believes is Mary Magdalene. Chemical ink tests are pending to validate the artifact’s authenticity, after which there will certainly be endless debates over its meaning. September 30th, the Smithsonian Channel will air a documentary about this discovery.

4. We Got Our First Look at Armie Hammer and Johnny Depp As The Lone Ranger and Tonto.

Gore Verbinski (Pirates of the Carribean series, The Mexican) continues pimping Disney with his film version of the Texas ranger and Native American partner, Tonto. The film boasts a talented cast including Helena Bonham Carter, William Fichtner, James Badge Dale, James Frain, Ruth Wilson and Tom Wilkinson.

Apparently Johnny is going the method route, staying in character at all times.

A 48 year old crew member (diver) drowned while performing a stunt on set, Friday. He is believed to have suffered a heart attack.

3. FX Ordered the pilot for Guillermo del Toro’s “The Strain.”

As “True Blood” begins winding down for what we can only hope is its last season, other vampires lie in wait. FX announced it is adapting del Toro’s trilogy, co-authored by Chuck Hogan (The Strain, The Fall, The Night Eternal), with “Lost” showrunner Carlton Cuse at the helm. These vampires are just a leetle different than your average fanger, in that instead of piercing bites, they attack with a six foot long retractable proboscis; a stinger that both sucks blood and infects the victim with tiny worms. Um, ew.

Speaking of EW, they have some spoileriffic details if you want to read more, but this sounds like one to go into cold. Del Toro and Hogan will script the pilot; here’s hoping we get the full series.

2. Gus Van Sant’s Promised Land Trailer Showcased Matt Damon’s Screen Presence.

Let’s be real; you start reading about a film and the description talks about a corporation taking over small town rural farming—your eyes start to glaze over. And then you read a few names: Matt Damon, John Krasinski, Frances McDormand, Hal Holbrook, Gus Van Sant, and you think, okay—I’ll at least give the trailer a looksie. And you probably won’t be sorry, but it’s not because of the storyline, it’s because Damon has that thing that draws you in. I don’t know how he does it, but he’ll keep you watching.

1. LEGO® May Have Given Us a Man of Steel Spoiler.

Who’d a thunk it? A toy leaking a cool (possible) spoiler about one of the most hush-hush upcoming films? Seems quite a few sites are getting in on the speculation. What happened is, Brickset published a list of upcoming 2013 LEGO® (who have a licensing agreement with Warner Brothers and DC Entertainment for Man of Steel) sets that seem to correlate to film releases. Swipe for the possible spoiler: One of the sets is called “Superman Black Zero Escape;” therefore the popular deduction is that Supervillain, Black Zero, aka The Man Who Destroyed Krypton, be making an appearance in Zack Snyder’s Man of Steel. Obviously this is just a rumor at this point, but it’s worth noting that some of the other sets listed do correspond to The Dark Knight Rises and Iron Man 3. Man of Steel hits theaters June 14, 2014.

Note: Don’t forget to come back tonight for Courtney’s Live Emmy Blog!

Cindy Davis may finally be over her Johnny Depp crush.