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All the Roles Sarah Paulson Could Reasonably Play in 'Ocean's 8'

By Vivian Kane | Lists | August 25, 2016 |

By Vivian Kane | Lists | August 25, 2016 |

While remakes and sequels have pretty much worn out their welcome, the Ocean’s 8 cast list has got most of us around here ready to throw our money at it. And that was before the latest announcement that Sarah Paulson is in talks to join the cast.

So now the question is, who could Paulson be playing? This type of sequel to a fun but fairly standard heist comedy will likely stick to its regular archetypes, of which Paulson could play LITERALLY ANY OR ALL OF THEM. Now, we probably shouldn’t hope for “all.” And many of these are likely already taken. (It is Sandra Bullock’s vehicle, after all.) But just for funsies, let’s remind ourselves that every single role in this and every movie could and should be played by Sarah Paulson.

What roles will we probably see in Ocean’s 8?

The Cool, Suave Boss


The Cool, Suave Sidekick

The Hot, Quiet But Also Cool Low-Key Thief


The Quirky [Insert Something Here] Expert


Computers? Lasers? It doesn’t really matter.

The Aggressively Quirky [Something Else] Expert


Explosions? Pineapples? It still doesn’t matter.

The Banter Pair

The Comedic Relief


The Hot, Edgy Hacker


(Yes a short, textured haircut = edgy hacker. This is Hollywood.)

The Wild Card


The Godmother (AKA the Elliott Gould)


And while Paulson would make the eighth announcement for this cast, meaning she would likely be Ocean’s eighth, perhaps the most perfect usage of Paulson would be as the movie’s Andy Garcia— the sexy, suave rival and target.

Look at this face. This is a match to meet.


You do NOT fuck with this face.