A Genuine Lack of Understanding of This Summer's Movie Posters
The Movie: Ghostbusters
The Question: Wait, does this movie have a subtitle? Or is “Answer the Call” a tagline? I assume the latter, but the size of that command gives it a bit more weight than I think it means to convey. After a rabbit hole of forced brainstorming, I would very seriously like to suggest changing the unnecessary subtitle/caption to Ghostbusters: You’d Be Prettier If You Smiled.
The Movie: Cafe Society
The Question: Every question we have is on full display on these two faces. Namely: “What?” “Why?” and “How did we end up here, defending Woody Allen as if he were actually as relevant as we thought he was when we signed up for this?”
The Movie: Star Trek Beyond
The Question: Hold up, who is the villain/third character here? A porcelain mask? A Purge mask? A rejected Kiss member? I didn’t realize I didn’t already know the answer to this.
The Movie: War Dogs
The Question: I’m very much looking forward to this movie, but if I hadn’t seen a trailer before I saw the poster, I would have absolutely zero idea of what it’s about. Even tonally, they’re selling the Hangover ties pretty heavily. But then also guns and Jonah Hill and ALL CAPS PINK? I’m seeing this, but, again, if only based on this poster, I’d have no idea why.
The Movie: Captain Fantastic
The Question: So this ISN’T Little Miss Sunshine?
The Movie: In the Deep
The Question: Wait, and this ISN’T The Shallows? I mean, I get that that doesn’t look very, you know, shallow. But I also had no idea that more than one shark movie was coming out this summer.
The Movie: Nerve
The Question: First question: This is a movie? Second: this is part of a whole series of craaaazy things that— presumably, knowing literally nothing about the movie— it takes nerve or whatever to do. But on its own, this is just an ad for tattoos, right? Or maybe some sort of tattoo app?
The Movie: Bad Moms
The Question: So many posters, so many questions. First, do all of these moms live in the same boring house?
More questions: Why do we keep needing these individual character posters? If you saw most of these by themselves, would they really draw you to a theater? Also, is it ‘clulessness’ that drew Annie Mumolo out of that boring house? And is Jada Pinkett-Smith so judgy she won’t even go inside of it? I’m guessing this isn’t actually a plot point, but my god do I want it to be.